Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

September 10, 1997

DRUNKEN BUTTERFLY has some facts for us about him: His name comes from a Sonic Youth song; he loved Dark Skies; he listens to alternative music, grunge and rap metal; he's... he's...

STATIC asks why do all cartoon fish look like Mick Jagger?

COME TO OUR WORLD:

Ravers dance freely to car alarms and pneumatic drills;
Britpoppers pretend to be New Age hippies;
The Spice Girls and their fans haven't been shot for crimes against humanity;
Only a select few can preach to the public;
there's never been a really good number one single;
Female goths are in such short supply there's a great demand for them;
the great band At The Gates splits up before they're well-known.

Glen 'Giggles' Benton's Little Sidekick

Are you a female Goth perchance?

WISHFUL THINKING IS GREAT, INNIT?

HYPER DOO

Hanson are gorgeous guys, not girls. I think they're absolutely fab.

They sound fantastic 'cause they can sing.
Their long blond hair suits them.
They don't have permed hair.
They've got loads of talent and their music's ace (unlike The Spice Girls').

Hanson's No1 Fan

That's true love burning in your heart.

HYPER DOO, YOU'RE DONE FOR.

DEAR 'ZINERS

Surely the RSPCA has something to say about the recent advertising campaigns promoting eating small armoured rodents.

I'm refering to the plight of the armadilloes, now doomed to be eaten as alternatives to chocolate.

What next? Penguin bars? Lemming meringue pie? Stork margarine? Fish fingers?

Bob the Fish, in fear for his fingers

You can eat armadilloes. I'll stick

TO CHOCOLATE BARS AND POPPETS.

DEAR 'ZINE

My letters portray me as a 45-year-old New Age hippie trying to relive 1967.

WLW, you've never a kind word for me, not that I'm bothered.

I'd like to get the record straight: in real life I'm a morbid, fat, 15-year-old schoolboy with no friends. I'm thick and I don't do yoga. I dislike The Spice Girls because I am a miserable get.

Thank you.

John, feeling sorry for himself

WLW has the body of Jamie Lee-Curtis

AND JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME IN ONE.

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