The Mega-Zine Museum
August 6, 1997
LAZY PANTOMIME HORSE states Brett Anderson is the best songwriter the world has ever produced. So let's stop immortalising the Spice Girls and give Brett more gratitude.
MIDGET GEM is feeling very lonely with all the other Zine romances flourishing at the moment. Midget proposes that she and Guy from Mars should get together.
PRINCESS PUNKA wants to contact SPARKLE PUNKA. D'you wanna start a punka league to rival the anti-glummers? Get back to me with your answer.
HOWDY DOODY DEAR PEOPLE
Don't you find it really annoying when someone asks you a trivial question to which the answer is pointless but you have to know it.
For example what is the name of Brad's cousin in Neighbours who used to go out with Lauren? I spent many a night awake in a cold sweat... listening to the birds chirping the answer.
Hopeless Insomniac
I can sympathise with your insomnia
AND WILL PUT YOUR REQUEST UP!!!
DEAR 'ZINE
I think WLW has hit upon something. I come from an area of Yorkshire which at one time had heavy mining activities.
Some people seem to think that people from my part of Yorkshire at least are all flat cappers who have nothing better to do than sit on slag heaps, eat coal and drink bitter in Working Mens Clubs.
Mr Unreadable
See you're not all coaled hearted
NOW LET THE WHIPPET OUT WILL YOU?!!
DEAR EVERYONE
Why is it when you want time to run slowly because it's a homework deadline it starts doing its Linford Christie impression and when you want time to run quickly it takes on the identity of a snail.
Also why is it the nicer foods are, the worse they are for you.
The Red Chipolata
Well yesterday's problems have gone
WHEN TOMORROW'S NEVER COME!!
DEAR ZINE
Once upon a time I walking in the sea when I came across a large pile of blue furry cabbages. I thought this was slightly unusual but carried on walking regardless.
After a short while, I noticed that all the fishy, fishy, fishes were looking at me in a strange way as if I was human or something.
Suddenly I stopped and remembered that I was human after all! Then I drowned.
Minslider
After reading this letter my conclusion
IS.. WHO SAID YOU WERE HUMAN?!!
