The Mega-Zine Museum
January 24, 1997
"Govinda, jaiha jaiha, pilau rice and a poppadom."
That's what it really is. And with "Gringer baker baker bingle bong" no one has yet realised these lyrics mean nothing and were spawned from the mind of an upper-class home counties boy who went to India on "Daddy's Money" and returned "all spiritual". Either that or some Indian person gave Crispyian some words and said "sing those, people will think you're important".
Slowhand
If you can spend dad's money, and make
MONEY FROM THE "EXPERIENCE" - KULA!
ATTENTION ALL ZINERS!!!
Picture the scene. All Ziners have been summoned to a small room at the back of an all night bar in Soho. A stage has been erected. It is dark and cramped. The atmosphere is tense.
The music starts to play This Hollywood Life by Suede. All eyes are on the stage... I appear, suspended in mid-air, dressed in black PVC... It is time for the people of the Zine to unite. Together we'll control the world!
The Ruler of the World - guess who?
Oh, ambitious Ruler, before you control
THE WORLD TRY TO CONTROL YOUR BRAIN!
DEAR ZEENEURS
Whay doo Euroes uoose a pseud-Amaarican accennt whane they spik Anygleesh?
French, Italian and German etc accents always sound better.
Ageing Lothario (genuinely puzzled)
But what about Masterchef's Lloyd? His
ACCENT IS REALLY GROSS-MAN! YUK!
SO, BROTHER ISLAM
Religion is about sacrifice is it? I happen to be a Christian, who is not quite always sure, and I am definitely not sure religion is about sacrifice.
You may have found your Mecca, but most of us are still looking. So how about not giving religion a bad name by saying that to have faith you must sacrifice luxuries!
Peace Brother. Rosy the Rainbow Girl
If you GOTTA have a faith - feel free
TO PUT GEORGE MICHAEL IN THE PULPIT
TO ZINERS
Think about the universe. Everything's small next to it, there are so many things in it, what do we matter?
What are other life forms like? What was there before the universe? It can't be nothing as you can't create something out of nothing. If there's a Creator, s/he must be outside the Universe, as how can s/he create him/her self?
The Grouchy Faerie Queen
Plagiarising wildly, all I can say is
42!
