Mega-Zine
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January 23, 1997

SWEET 'ZINE OF MINE!

Can anyone tell me WHAT is the point of some of the things we are taught in maths? How is knowing ax+bx+c=0 going to help me in later life?

Pythagoras? WHY? If I want to know how big a triangle is I will use a ruler. And as for trig, an easy way to measure an angle is to use a protractor!

John Squire's Broken Collarbone Rain Clouds,
Oh, They Used To Chase Me

If you don't know the answers, then

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD LISTEN IN TRIG!

 

WHITE LINE WARRIOR

Recently you said that the 'Zine was not a dating service. I want to know why. You could fix up dates between 'Ziners and then get them to write in and tell us about it.

You could rename yourself Cilla Black Line Warrior and fix me up with a gorgeous blond (as it was my idea).

Buggsuperstar

Any more letters like that & I'll start

A PRUNING SERVICE! STARTING WITH YOU

 

SO OASIS ARE LIKE THE BEATLES?

Come on! Oasis are naff. Firstly, The Beatles were geniuses.

If Oasis were like The Beatles:

  1. Liam would actually sing in tune and have album concepts
  2. Noel would sing: "Jai guru deva om."
  3. Bonehead would be into yoga and learn the sitar
  4. They would write decent tunes.

Would you like to have a go, Liam?

Peel-a-Tater

What about individuality? And are you

SAYING YOU WANT TO HAVE A GO AT LIAM

 

MIDNIGHT PRINCESS and WITCHY BITCHY

Oh! I love you both. I thought I was alone in my adoration of Mr Mark "50s throwback" Lamarr.

Not only that, but he's someone who you could take home to your mum for tea and biscuits.

Mark is a sex god in disguise. Surely everyone can see that!

Mmmm-mm.

Kicker, on the Kippax

What are you talking about? Sex god

IN DISGUISE??? THINK ABOUT IT..!

 

HELP ME!

W-w-why do all the cute ones die? Every time I see a cute guy in a film or TV programme, they die!

I'm starting to think it's me killing them!

See Krycek in the X-Files? That was me!

Does anyone have my problem?

Pscho Cabbage

No one else has your problem, you are

OBVIOUSLY A PSCHO, AND A CABBAGE!