The Mega-Zine Museum
September 8, 1996
IRVINE & WASHINGTON'S new reviewer review was panned. Don't give up the day job of being lampshades, lads.
ANONYMOUS claims to have personal values. Trouble is he was mouse enough to not sign his own letter. Saddo!
MELLON COLLIE goes to the supermarket, gets a trolley and buys one solitary apple. Last of the big spenders!
THE 'TACHE says forget Fantasy Footy, try Fantasy Crane Stroking. Overall
winner gets a Gary Penrice sticker,
ALL ENTRANTS GET A COLIN HILL ONE!
DEAR W(ILD) L(EMMING) W(ARRIOR)
If any other 'Zinesters have trouble with their homework this term, here's something that worked a treat for me.
Back up the old "I didn't have time" excuse with "time is a manufactured concept to try and categorise meaningless actions in a bewildering cosmos, sir".
Simple!
Socrates, feeling Bluetonic
Doesn't wash with me, sonny
I'LL SEE YOU FOR DETENTION AT 4!
DEAR MEMORY (TEMPORARY LOSS) MOTH
I think the video you're trying to remember is Blind Melon's No Rain.
It featured a little girl dressed as a bee, who kept dancing for people. None of the people took any notice and the little girl got really upset.
Then she discovered a field full of people who were dressed like bees. The video finished with her dancing around with all these other bee people.
The Player
Nothing like musical amnesia to get
'ZINERS SHOWING OFF THEIR KNOWLEDGE!
DEAR KORKY'S PEDANTIC CRUNCHIE
Be warned! My colleagues have set up a new organisation, the League Against Korky's Pedantic Crunchie (LAKPC), in protest at your sad comments on Nirvana.
We know who you are and we know where you live. Our tactics will involve firing peeled plum tomatoes at your front door, forcing you to listen to Kurt and singing outside your house.
Mellon Collie, the angry red lolly
Will you come as we are and crunch
THE PEDANTIC NEVERMIND? NO!
DEAR 'ZINESTERS
Am I the only one to notice how sad and tragic The Big Breakfast has become since it went all refined on us?
Remember the days of Chris and Gaby? Now all we have to keep us occupied is the A-Z of health and Rick Adams.
Come on, Channel 4. You're the channel that brought us Father Ted, for heaven's sake!
Insane Strawberry
Any culinary thoughts...
DEAR ZOZO OF ZOZIELAND
I couldn't agree more with you about boy bands.
It's shocking how they sacrifice musical talent and integrity just to become some fantasy figure.
I can't believe people spend money to see them. They should spend that money to look at me. My breathtaking features and surly attitude would be a more exciting experience than any band would create.
The Beautiful Athene
Another begrudger? Talk about Boyzone
IT'S MORE BLEATZONE HERE AT TIMES!
