Mega-Zine
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March 22, 1996

MOO COW WITH X-RAY EYES put a cool Zig and Zag stamp on her envelope. Pity about the dire letter inside.

LOVABLE PIECE OF BUM FLUFF thrilled us with many flashy fibs. They're really popular... with kids half her age! (5)

MELANCHOLY ROSE tried to bribe us with a worthless red feather. How low can readers get? Quite low, actually!

THE JOYRIDER'S tin of meat paste said "Do not open if lid can be depressed". Wow, depressed lids. What next?

Gina' livin on a prayer, thinks she's

A CELEBRITY. WE THINK NOT!

 

NO MORE SAVO OR X FILES

I've noticed that 'Zine's pages have been swamped by articles on Savo or the X Files. Well, I want an end to it now!

The 'Zine has only six pages (one for folks who have to share a page) and they should be regarded as sacred and holy. Articles should be new and fresh.

As for people who write in as Mulder or Scully, one word - SAD!

The Shoemaker

How can we reply to such a tirade?

COBBLERS!!

 

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

  1. If I didn't have a thumb, would the bottom half of my sandwich fall off?
  2. The person who smiles when something goes wrong has already thought of someone else to blame.
  3. Were all great discoveries really made by mistake?
  4. Why are my thoughts naff?

Thinker of the century (not)

Naff, they couldn't be better

LIBERATE SANDWICHES, CUT OFF THUMBS!

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I'm a bunch of words stuck on a TV screen in green. Help me find my true meaning in life.

Am I meaningless or am I a dying enigma lost in a field of dreams, blinded by my own brillance?

Some might say I have no purpose in life. Still, I'm here doing a job, an important one at that.

The Poetic 1

 

DEAR 'ZINE

I'm so sick of people taking the mickey out of other people's accents.

Accents should be celebrated! We should stand up and be proud of our voices. It shows an individuality and belonging.

Who cares what people with little to do but sneer think? We should be able to speak in whatever voice, tone, and accent we choose.

Sweet Dreamer, vocalising in Norfolk

Say it loud, say it clear

BE PROUD, HAVE NO FEAR!

 

TRANNY TROUBLE

Why does the reception on my radio get worse when I stand near it and get better when my mate stands near it?

A Person not called Trevor