The Mega-Zine Museum
December 13, 1995
DIRTY DAVEY thinks he can solve the problem of imposters. If so, go away now, Davey. Who do you think you are?
SHEREE THE TEAM CAPTAIN wants a reunion of all regular 'Zinesters. Then we'd discover that Attilla The Hen is really Robbie from Take That!
APPLE CRISP has started predictions. Oh no, here we go again! Anyway, he says frizzy-haired writers should look out for that blond male.
HOLLYWOOD TEMPTRESS knows everything!
Mrs Red likes Redknapp of Liverpool.
IT MAKES HER SLEEPY. Zzzzzz...
DEAR 'ZINE
One major problem I have with Christmas is presents.
I asked my dad what he wanted and he said: "Well... er... anything you get will be nice, dear." Right!
I asked mum and she said: "A peaceful time. You and your brother to be good." Um cheap... but not easy!
Any useful suggestions?
Mme Chic Chick
PARENTS' SAYINGS
Mum, can I go? The answer's No!
Doom and gloom, go tidy your room.
Don't stay out late, clear your plate.
Look at this mess. My fault I guess!
What about study? Your shoes are muddy.
Don't eat so much, hands off don't touch.
Get off the phone, moan and groan.
Nag and shout, that's it, I'm out!
Macavity the mystery cat
This cat is a poet and she doesn't
EVEN KNOW IT!
HOW LARS' OBSESSION WITH OASIS ENDED
The drummer from Metallica
Likes songs by Noel Gallagher
Then one day
Lars got backstage to a gig
Oasis played in the US of A.
Lars said "Hi!"
To which Noel replied,
Liam interrupted
And gave Lars a black eye.
Swinney
Don't give up the day job Swinney.
TAKE TIME TO LEARN RHYME!
HOW TO UNNERVE PEOPLE
- Keep smiling at them
- Stare at their feet before breaking into a giggle
- Introduce yourself as being a very intolerant person
- Always look a few inches over the top of people's heads when you're talking to them
Gina, Livin' On A Prayer.
Doesn't Gina sound really nice?
AMEN!
LIFE
Caring, sharing, sighing, dying
Patriotic, psychotic, bashed, smashed
Flowers, showers, fun, sun
Health, wealth, strife, life
The Chicken in the Mist
