The Mega-Zine Museum
February 11, 1995
ODE TO THE DENT IN MY WALL
I love my wall, it's big and blue.
There's only one thing
That spoils this view.
On the back wall, above my bed
There's this massive dent
I made with my head.
Everyone listen, from tuff to ponce
Don't headbutt walls,
It hurts your bonce.
4 Jedi Knight
Sound advice
WILL WALL BE JEDI'S VALENTINE?
TOP SEVEN COMEDY SKETCHES EVER
- Alan Partridge World Cup Preview / The Day Today
- Kevin's 13th Birthday / Harry Enfield
- Hi, I'm Ed Winchester / The Fast Show
- Willie Thorne/Walkers Crisps Ad / Fantasy Football League
- A Partridge Over Britain / Knowing Me, Knowing You
- People Of Restricted Seriousness / Newman And Baddiel
- Eric Cantona attack / Sportsnight
The Adam Tanner Hater, On Patrol
Eric - only No 7?!!!!
WARNING
Elvis is dead, but he's been spotted in sunny Margate holding a car battery and lawnmower engine which allowed him to walk.
I saw him with my telescope. I called him and he replied, "Hey watch the hair man."
Prince Purple, Rubble Mansion
No way, I've seen him in Fulham
HE RUNS A MARKET STALL
ESSENTIAL INGREDIENTS FOR A BRITISH SOAP
- An elderly relative who never stops talking/moaning
- Several ugly children
- A local pub with smoke free air
- An affair/murder/disaster every six months to boost the ratings
White Socked Girl, Isle of Innocence
DEAREST 'ZINE
It is obvious to myself and all my womanist sisters why your marvellous offering is purple and green.
The Suffragettes marched and fought under banners and ribbons of these two colours.
Not that it is of any particular interest to me, being an anarchist.
Peace, love and chocolate to you all.
Non Non Blonde Ultra Babe
Colours of defiance
AND SENSIBLE READING
DEAR MEGA-ZINE
Am I the only person who reads Mega-zine with the virus ME?
I've been told there are over 12,000 children/teenagers with ME in Britain alone. But I have only met one of them.
So, where are the 11,999 other people? Get smart, write to the 'Zine.
Imperial Inquisitor, Daemon Hunter
11,999 letters - help
DEAR 'ZINE
Why are supermarket trolleys allowed to roam the streets unsupervised?
They clutter up front gardens and pavements. If they're not a nuisance to pedestrians then they're harassing unsuspecting car-park attendants.
All trolleys should be rounded up and destroyed. They're a menace to society and threaten our very existence.
Scrabble Fan, Author of 'Invasion Of The Trolley Snatchers'
