Mega-Zine
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October 11, 1994

TOP TEN WOMEN IN THE WORLD OF MUSIC, MOVIES AND TV

  1. Mariah Carey
  2. Whitney Houston
  3. Kelly Le Brock
  4. Demi Moore
  5. Jennifer Grey
  6. Yoko Ono
  7. Belinda Carlisle
  8. Beth from Neighbours
  9. Angel from Home & Away
  10. Tania from Coronation Street

R, Surrey

Yoko Ono?

TOP JUST 'COS OF THE WAY THEY LOOK?

 

TOP TEN REASONS WHY I HATE NEIGHBOURS

  1. Nobody can act
  2. The storylines are ridiculous
  3. Everyone lives in each other's house
  4. They know no one outside Ramsay St
  5. Everybody moves to Brisbane
  6. Long lost second cousins turn up when needed
  7. Nobody goes to the loo
  8. Hardly anyone has a birthday
  9. Helen hands round casseroles
  10. Everything ends happily ever after

Claire The Ponderer

And it's BORING.

SWITCH TO THE 'ZINE WEEKDAYS 5.30pm

 

DEAR 'ZINE

Why is everyone so anti-Newcastle at the moment? Why do Geordies have such a bad name in the rest of the country?

We just can't understand why Rovers and Man Utd are getting all the media attention and Newcastle aren't getting the recognition they rightly deserve.

Newcastle's a great place, we have an excellent team and we're proud to be Geordies!

Way ay, man!

One For Sorrow, Two For Joy, Tyneside

Paul says: "Howay the lads!"

MAYBE HIS GEORDIENESS EXPLAINS ALL!

 

REPLY TO THE SPHEREOLOGIST

I'm in love! Mr Sphereologist, you are the perfect man.

Forget Poem Boy and the Sensitive 90s Man, a person with such excellent taste in spherical diameters has got to be the ideal life-long companion for me.

I must admit, I was once obsessed with cubes, but this passed when I discovered spheres and seeing your Top Ten has really turned my head (which is almost entirely spherical)!

Ronda, The Northern Hemisphere

No squares here!

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!

 

DEAREST MR SENSITIVE SOMEONE

May the gentle mental breezes of your top ten continue on their spiritual journey of freshness, through a 'Zine turned almost barren by the foolish categorising of warring readers.

China Doll! May your empty porcelain skull split in two! Mr SS - how about singing some achingly beautiful lyrics together - I would love to trouble you in your time of need. I eagerly await reading your next sensitivities.

Icicle Angel, Private Universe

Caramba! where ARE you, IA?!?!

WHAT ON EARTH'S SHE ON ABOUT?

 

DEAR SIR/MADAM

I'd just like to say: with the number of words allowed on letters to the 'Zine being limited, why do so many letters begin with "I'd just like to say"?

Can't they think of anything intelligent to say?

I'd just like to say this.

Pedant

Excellent!

MORE COMEDY NEEDED! WRITE