The Mega-Zine Museum

August 23, 1994

REPLY TO PEARL JAM FAN

How can you slag off rave when you've obviously no idea of what is involved? I have composed jazz, classical, soul and house for five years and I like all forms of music.

I also have 10 GCSEs, 3 A Levels, perfect pitch and am studying architecture at degree level, but you class me as a stupid prat!

Shame your narrow mind isn't as wide as your gob.

Doors Fan (Among Other Things), Crawley

I'm with you, Pearl Jam Fan!

TRY TO SOUND INTELLIGENT RIGHT HERE!

SIX WAYS TO TELL A DIVINE SONG

1. It makes you smile
2. It makes you shiver
3. It makes you cry
4. It makes you wanna dance/mosh/headbang
5. It makes you believe God must have written it
6. You can't stop writing the lyrics everywhere

We, 20th Century

And it makes you wanna write in!

THE 'ZINE - LIKE A DIVINE SONG!

DEAR 'ZINE

Do not ever, EVER call the Rolling Stones heavy metal again.

Metal freaks are the most wretched group of people on earth.

Painting your room black and dressing like a walking jumble sale is not a rebellion.

Billy Liar

In fact don't mention the Stones again!

NOW WE KNOW HOW TO WIND UP BILLY!!!

TOP TEN B-SIDES

Dodgy Delbert, Glasgow

That's why they're B-sides...

SIGUE SIGUE SPUTNIK INDEEEEEEEED!!!

DEAR 'ZINE OF 'ZINES

Is a Beatles Top 10 all the Fresh Prince of Luton has to offer? I mean, it doesn't even have Strawberry Fields on it.

This just shows an average Lutonite's intellect and musical taste. Wonder if the FPOL will come up with a "witty" reply...

Finally, Shampoo - it's OK to be ugly if you can sing, but they're a disgrace.

Neil Finn's Goldfish Bowl

Crumbs! Are you one to talk?

TOP TEN WORDS ENDING IN RINE

1. Tambourine
2. Submarine
3. Shrine
4. Tangerine
5. Margarine
6. Chlorine
7. Fluorine
8. Listerine
9. Urine
10. Marine

Snoop Doggy Dogg's Afro, In Da House

Right. Great.

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