April 3, 2006

RAVENS FEATHER Mama Goth do you want a witchy friend? I will do your wedding for you. There's an idea!

SPONGE BOB I've been soaking up the sun but now it's time to sleep. Sleep and sun: my two favourite things.



After someone managed to get upstairs at work the other week, it was decided that the door would have a number lock added to it to stop people making it upstairs.

So now if you want to get upstairs you need to tap in the combination. Or you could do what our thief did and ride up in the elevator.

Dr Namgge (Head of Security)

Someone please remind me why this has got air space...



I'm totally hooked on The Apprentice - the candidates are just atrocious, it makes viewing all the more funny. Who you backing to win WLW?

I had a university interview the other day - I arrived 10 minutes late, broke the heel of my shoe and nearly went sprawling down the corridor on my way.

What is the point of this e-mail? I haven't got a clue.

The Glitter Girl

Plenty of point - Jo was my fave but she was booted out! I bumped into her the other day and she was lovely.



Ah! I'm old WLW, in four days I'll be eighteen! EIGHTEEN! Pass me the Zimmer frame.

The Spontaneously Combusting Penguin

I'm only printing you cos I found your joke funny. Be grateful - I can't remember what 18 looks like, so if you need a Zimmer, I need a wheeler!



As I was cycling home, my new neighbour's sheepdog came out and followed me. He just wouldn't leave me alone. He kept barking at sheep, then coming back and following me again.

The next day, I snuck past the house quietly and managed to stop him coming out. Then, half a mile down the road, three sheep stole my bike.

Paddy Irishman

Are you a sheep in disguise, Paddy Irishman?



This is a list of words/objects/phrases which should be used more often to make the world a better place.

  1. Whippersnapper
  2. Mother of pearl
  3. Mint imperial
  4. Parched
  5. Flabbergasted

Just savour the deliciousness of every syllable WLW.

Beijing's 8,999,997th Bicycle

Add salacious, hilarious and outlandish to the list and I agree wholeheartedly.



Surely the only way to make your skin look as radiant as that of the woman on the Johnson's Holiday Skin advert is to constantly stand under a lamp that casts a warm glow over your face, as she seems to.

Of course, you'd need to invest in a really long extension lead or lug a pretty hefty generator around with you all the time...

The One With The Mighty Antlers

The wonders and trickery of advertising hey, Antlers! It's lucky I'm tanned all year round - but I feel your pain.