The Mega-Zine Museum
March 10, 2006
TEXT MANIACS
ALUCARD My cat's only got three legs! It keeps falling over, I call it Tripod. It's cat city this week Ziners.
CAPTAIN BOB Does anyone like heavy metal or are you all chavs? Shaddup Your Face.
GIRAFFE MIS-HAPS
I'll bet your zookeepers adore having to clean up, several times a day, the excessive diarrohea a Jaffa Cake-addicted giraffe must violently excrete.
Yes WLW - this means you.
The Inalienable Truth
For once I am lost for words - have I done something to offend?
VILLAGE HABITS
You think your village is bad? Then it's still not as bad as mine. I'm still living in the world of dial-up internet and four TV channels.
The most exciting thing that ever happened was some cows escaping from the field and causing havoc on the roads.
One way my family and I amuse ourselves with is the 14-year feud we have with our neighbours.
Enchanted Rose
The only Ziner in the village.
MONKEY STORY
I have a little monkey.
He lives in a gazebo.
He says the architecture's bad,
He's a monkey,
how would he know?
The One With The Mighty Antlers
Aww, he sounds cute!
My neighbour always puts something out for the birds at this time of year. He's just filled the bird bath with Lemsip.
Daddypoos
Have they caught bird flu?
ROSES AND CHAVS
I see trees of green, red roses too,
I see them bloom for me and you.
And I think to myself
Don't you just hate chavs?
Beijing's 8,999,997th Bicycle
And there was me thinking that was a nice tune. What have chavs got to do with it?
DOHERTY AND SINGING RULES
Pete Doherty is a rebel and a genius. Who's with me?
He's unique and real, unlike the fake, manufactured imposters.
Gin in tonic. The World is.
Nye X Smeg
Is it? I actually think he's a loser.
I'd like to teach the world to sing but its quite difficult arranging a time that works for us all.
Flukey Luke
There should always be time for tunage.
