Mega-Zine
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January 11, 2006

CAMARAC I wish I could sing like Chantelle. K-razy K-amarac.

MECHANIC MONKEY Dalek, can I borrow your biodefluxeregenerator? (pref model 1D10T) Mine's broke. No you can't, you'll break it.

 

NOW YOU KNOW

LORD SEBASTIAN FLYTE Pete Burns is obviously an alpha male. Anyone who thinks otherwise has breasts like spaniel's ears and is primitive beyond belief. Are you educated enough to pass judgment?

THE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING PENGUIN Hey WLW - spam up! I can't stand spam, my man.

 

AUTOGRAPHS

Y'know when people get an autograph off someone famous and they don't have a piece of paper, so they get it signed on their stomachs or... other places. Do they eventually wash them off?

What if they are their biggest fan and they couldn't bare to remove it so they avoided washing?

The Sheep That Lost Its Wool

I think they go straight to a tattoo parlour and have them etched onto their bodies.

 

NAUGHTY

Who ever did that Ode To Rick Waller, shame on you. If we stop mentioning their names, they will go away.

Yes I do realise the irony of my using his name in this letter, but at least I didn't mention The Cheeky Girls...

Cool Hand Bob

I agree, although the Cheeky Girls escaped from my dungeon and will be releasing another single within weeks.

 

HELLO AGAIN

Well I would love to say I've been hiding out in the Celebrity Big Brother house, but it's not really the sort of place for a man of government to be, is it?

That sounds like I'm being big headed, doesn't it? Did I mention the new car?

Junior Minister

You should take a leaf out of George Galloway's book - apply for Big Brother and 'reach out to the people'.

 

ONE WINGED ANGEL

Sorry Angel, I've been too busy filming a movie to take over the world with you. I'm starring alongside Pete Burns and Dennis Rodman in When Scary Freaky Monsters Invade. Though Pete has the lead, I figure this could be my break.

I've got some spare time on Friday, though. Is that OK?

Dalek

Don't lie to me, Dalek. Filming can't have started - as you pointed out, Dennis and Pete are in the CBB house.

 

THAT'S ME TOLD OFF

Du hast ein Ei? Ja ja ja ja Ya ya ya di ya. Du bist stupid.

And that's how I got insulted by an eager German shopkeeper! Woop woop woop.

The Grimacing Toad

After using the word "Whoop!" three times, I bet you are grimacing, Toad.