The Mega-Zine Museum
November 3, 2005
GILLS' HEARING AID Imagine if spiders swam in the sea and turtles lived under your bed. Wouldn't just be daddy who got his long legs in a pair of trunks.
UNUSUAL SUSPECT If you're too open minded, will your brain fall out? Mine already has.
PAGE TWO TEXTAGES
FOOLA HOOLA Ooh, we're moving! So... err, I'll buy a new hat. Don't forget the removal van.
CURLY COW I'm bored. I'm the chairman of the bored. I hope 'Zine can lift your spirits, chairman.
PUNK PRINCESS Noel Edmonds? Now that takes me back to the good old days of Noel Edmonds' House Party! Nothing? No? Just me then... Don't remind me of Mr Blobby, please 'Ziners.
Let's get the band back together and
TRY FOR CRIMBO NUMBER ONE
AN AMAZING SIGHT
Guess what I saw yesterday? I saw something amazing. No, not an intelligent Manics fan, but a bunch of chavs in a bookshop.
It was hilarious, like watching a group of cavemen trying to negotiate their way around Dixons!
They were probably only after a Hollyoaks Babes calendar.
Norman Radcliffe
Ooh, listen to old culture vulture
NORMAN HERE!
SSSSH!
| Anne: | Hi, Bethany. Is your cake OK? |
| Bethany: | It is very yummy, thank you, but it is too much chocolate, I think. |
| Anne: | Oh gosh, oh no! Be quiet! |
| Bethany: | What is wrong? |
| Anne: | You should not say "too much chocolate" - it is an impossible paradox. The whole universe will collapse! |
| Bethany: | Sorry. |
Little Blue Fox
Eek, the turret from Teletext Towers
JUST DROPPED OFF. GOOD JAFFA!
HARRY POTTER
I'm itching to see the new film, so much so that I think I might have fleas. But anyway, here's a list of things to do while waiting:
- plant a tree
- recycle litter
- remember to turn off all unused electricity
- take the bus instead of the car
Actually that was my environmentally friendly list of things to do. But hey it works much the same.
The Amazing Bouncing Ferret
How about zapping those fleas with
AN ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY SPRAY?
ANTI-FIT JEANS
What is "anti-fit" supposed to mean? Are these jeans made with the intention to not fit? Or are they made for people who aren't fit, and are quite hateful toward fit people?
Either way, the advert's rubbish. A guy playing guitar clumsily on an ice-cream van?
Oh, great, I feel like buying some jeans now.
Vigilante Maelstrom
I only do skinny jeans these days
PERFECT FOR LONG SLENDER LEGS
MORE JOB SEEKING
I would like to apply for the position of Bond Villain X. Pick me because...
- I have this cool scar on my leg where I once shot myself. Let's change the script completely so we can incorporate that into the film somehow.
- I can laugh evilly "girlish laugh"
- Well... Hold on... "girlish laugh"
Is there an evil schoolgirl part?
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
You could kill people with one burst
OF YOUR FEEBLE GIRLY GIGGLE
