The Mega-Zine Museum
October 19, 2005
DALEK These pages have really improved since I've been away. But don't worry 'Ziners, I'm back! Oh... I see. Feel that slump, folks?
ERNIE'S RUBBER DUCK When there's trouble in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? Neighbourhood Watch?
AND MOVING ON TO PAGE TWO
LITTLE BLUE FOX Blee! My Sprite tastes like goblins! You ate him? GASP!
LEN SECRET Sometimes, I wonder whether anyone will ever invent a device capable of capturing the images we all, every day, see through our binoculars? Aha, I can reveal: Heat magazine.
EL BORTO WLW, you put me on Page 3; me ma was so proud. But may I add, if you ever put me there again, I will squishinate your eyeballs. Page 2 for you!
I am very picky about Zine's Page 3
GIRLS AND BOYS, DONCHA KNOW?
GOVERNMENT SCANDAL
Well, it's been a fun few years, and a couple of hundred letters, but Junior Minister is no more.
Sacked from his government department after all the scandal, and officially resigning from 'Zine.
Farewell, folks.
Junior Minister
I am sure you will return in a blaze
OF SCANDAL AND JAFFA CAKES SOON
MY GOOD SELF
So, I've been here for a month at college. This week was pretty uneventful, I just played with modrock and covered a mug in disks of card and also was rushed to hospital in an ambulance after I choked on a carrot.
But that's it really. Still can't cook. Or chew properly, evidently.
Satan's Little Helper
I told you, you need to boil your
VEG IN WATER, NOT BANANA MILKSHAKE
HOW TO BE A SUPER SLEUTH
- Keep a collection of disguises.
- Always have a magnifying glass in your pocket.
- Cultivate an air of mystery.
- Blend into your surroundings.
- Always have an alibi.
- Know your enemy.
- Watch B*ckch*t (see above).
- Trust no-one. Trust is illogical.
- Always have an alias (the clues are there).
- Always have a trusty sidekick.
Aphra the Post-modern Spy
And keep up to date with Spooks?
MAKES ME WANT TO SPORT A MONACLE
KARMA
What was that about laughing at unfortunate people? Yes. Do it. Then when bad things happen to you, I can laugh too.
Wait, maybe it'll come back round to me. Like that puddle which was large, until a boy-racer car driver ran into it. Soaked. And then I slipped.
It's that old lady's fault, I tell you. I'm pretty certain she was a witch. It was the broomstick that did it.
Elden Ray
What have I told you about wart-
RIDDLED WOMEN WITH GREEN FACES?
GOOD FOOD
Ah, jellybabies - my one weakness. Well that and vanilla fudge, and Christmas dinner, and a bacon double cheeseburger, and chicken tikka bhuna, and actually thinking about it there's a lot of food I'm particularly fond of.
One more thing before I go. There's a milkshake shop where I live that does a nice Jaffa Cake milkshake. It goes well with maple syrup.
Dr Namgge (a close relative of the sunflower plant)
Oh, there goes my plan for the first
JAFFA MILKSHAKE SHOP. BLUB.
