Mega-Zine
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October 16, 2005

AMAZING BOUNCY FERRET Can I contribute an album cover for the 'Zine band? My art course must be useful for something besides dodging work, right? Mais oui!

THE BARKING TREE No, my cat's called Fred, sorry. He's very handsome though. Is Mavis busy tonight? Ooh, cheeky!

 

NOT PAGE ONE, BUT PAGE TWO

GNOMES FOLLOW ME How many 'Ziners went to the best gig ever, Live8? Couldn't have just been me. It was, all alone!

MRS TRELLIS WLW, have you tried pink grapefruit Jaffa Cakes? I'm sure they'd be good for your spots. Thought that was the toothpaste Jaffa cake?

THE GLITTER GIRL I'm annoyed. Know why? Because I feel old after having applied to uni. What do I do to feel young again? Write to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I get very sensitive when people

TALK ABOUT MY SPOTS. NOT FAIR.

 

DOCTOR NICK

My top five Dr Nick replies:

  1. "Whatever"
  2. "What do you want me to do about it?"
  3. "Hey, it worked for me"
  4. "I couldn't care less"
  5. "Don't waste your GP's time, it's not worth getting checked out."

Always the professional, that Dr Nick.

Unusual Suspect

Thank Jaffa you are not our

RESIDENT AGONY UNCLE

 

THE RADCLIFFE AWARDS

  • 'Ziner most like likely to pretend to like poetry: Gutless Wonder
  • Outstanding contribution to mediocrity: Dr Namgge
  • 'Ziner most likely to listen to Simon & Garfunkel: Junior Minister
  • 'Ziner destined to become a bin man: Vigilante Maelstrom

Norman Radcliffe

Crikey. Dr Namgge

THE FLOOR IS YOURS

 

DANTE, SHMANTAY

Who does he think he is? I tell you, in my day half-demons acted their age and certainly didn't go around making sarcastic comments and showing off.

Not even Hwoarang from Tekken could say things like "breakdown" in the middle of a fight and still look cool.

If I ever get my hands on him I'll show him a thing or two... like how to get one's head removed in one swift motion.

The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning

Have you been taking tips

FROM T.A.T.U?

 

SPEAKING THE IRISH

WLW, I love you (as a friend) for printing my letter and all, but I simply must reprimand you for your spelling of the Irish language.

You wrote "radio", when it is, in fact, "raidio". Y'see, you can't have an "i" after an "a" with consonants in between. It's the whole "broad with broad, slender with slender" vowel rule.

Paddy Irishman, I see you there, help me out here. Honestly, some people.

El Borto

Righteho! Or should that be

RIAGHTEIHOOOOAAAAIII? CONFUSED...