The Mega-Zine Museum
October 5, 2005
THE WHITE RUSSIAN I hear there are nine million bicycles in Beijing, but sadly only one puncture repair kit. It must be very tyred.
MY LEFT KNEE If I had a pound for every pound I had, I would have two pounds and six pence. Are you an accountant?
PAGE TWO SHORT ONES
DADDYPOOS So, gorillas can use tools. Would you trust a monkey with a Black & Decker? Yes - can he build a shelf?
TALLULAH THE TURQUOISE WITCH How long has 'Zine been going? I made my debut in 1997 but some old codger's been here since '93. 'Zine pre-dates time itself.
FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE I think you will find the first 'Zine wedding was myself and Broccoli, well over five years ago, so sucks to you, ner ner. Going strong?
Everybody loves somebody some time
EVEN YOU CRAZY 'ZINERS APPARENTLY
THE X FACTOR
I was adding up my factors the other day and found out that the X Factor is actually the third worst factor, behind the L Factor and the notorious Q Factor.
So, I guess all those manky-voiced div-wits who warble talentlessly on our screens are actually auditioning on the right show after all.
Now, the P Factor, now there's a Factor worth having.
Len Secret
I actually have three factors
THE W, THE L AND A RARE W2
RETURNING ON THE KEYBOARD
I'm back and still have nothing valid worth saying. However on the subject of the 'Zine band, I'd just like to say that I'm more than willing to play the keyboards. I have no musical talent but I can type with the best of them.
Also, a while ago someone said about taking over the world. I'm afraid you can't as I claimed ownership last year and still have ownership for another three.
Dr Namgge (a good source of calcium)
This band may not be very good
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE BEING THE BIGGEST
GOTHS
Now, I know of the two waves of people known as goths. There are the silly little princesses who wear black and sulk, and the mature people who wear black and sulk.
Some may call the former (who appeared later) pretenders. These people are correct. But the latter are pretenders too!
What about the original goths? The Germanic people who invaded the Roman Empire in the early centuries of the Christian era?
Vigilante Maelstrom
Two of them became '80s pop stars
MATT AND LUKE GOTH OF BROS
SOOTY
Since everyone's raving about our childhoods, I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane. Why has no-one mentioned Sooty? Who else would've invented the phrase "Izzy Wizzy, let's get busy!"?
I did feel sorry for the bear though, he was always too shy to speak and could only whisper to humans. There's Sweep, the dog/puppy who had problems with his voice box. And the panda, Soo...
I'll shut up now.
Anime Buddy
OK, Sooty v Basil Brush in a fight
WHO DO YOU RECKON WOULD WIN?
A MESSAGE FOR NORMAN
I suspect I've found Mr Radcliffe on the evolutionary chart. No, he's not the human.
He's right there, between the ape and the chav.
Dark Grey Wolf of Norbex
You mean the one next to the goth
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE AGUILERA?
