The Mega-Zine Museum
September 2, 2005
INFESTEDSPIRIT After all the work of 10 GCSEs, I did OK. Now I need to find all the people that said I couldn't do it. All I need is a bin lid and an ape. That would be a rhesus to be cheerful.
JOAN THE POSTWOMAN Does anyone remember me? Yes. Is this your second delivery?
FOUNTAIN OF KNOWLEDGE The trouble with this texting business is that I never get a page to myself. There's only so much random junk you can fit into one message. And you certainly do (joking!)
AMBIGUOUS SNAIL A fish isn't just for Christmas. It's for dinner. Oh Cod...
MR MOPPLE IS UPSET BY A BEE Do what your mother tells you and put the sheriff's horse down! Why, has he been poorly?
When the old Queen had a bath
DID VICTORIA SPONGE?
ODD MUSICAL TASTES
I always knew my dad had a strange taste in music when he bought that Backstreet Boys' Greatest Hits album, but his latest obsession is... Eminem.
It was bad enough when he made me buy 8 Mile for his birthday, but when your dad knows more Eminem lyrics than you - that's just wrong.
Bring back the days of Led Zeppelin.
Enchanted Rose
Your dad sounds shady
BUT IS HE SLIM?
MY, WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!
Alternate phrases for "cliffhanger":
- a gun pointer
- a cor-blimer
- an EastEnders drum solo dumdumdumdududud-er
- a face-lifter
- a Brian Blessed clause
- a DJ Bob Hoskins going mental in a dustbin scenario
Ever notice that tele-vision means "mind-vision"? Funny that, I wonder, whatever could it mean...
1929
Tele- means long distance
IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL FOR YOU
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT
I went shopping in HMV with my boyfriend. I bought the Blue Room EP by Coldplay (it was only £28, would you believe?) and then my boyfriend bought the Crazy Frog CD and a Rage Against The Machine album. Rage Against The Machine! My boyfriend!
It was so embarrassing, I could have DIED.
Naturally, I dumped him on the spot. Freak!
LBBM
It sounds like you had a right
DING-DING-DING-DING-A-DING-DONG!
THE BLACK WIDOW
I was watching Backchat the other day, and I saw a letter from Black Widow.
There used to be a 'Ziner called Black Widow.
I hope there isn't a Backchat conspiracy to steal our identities.
Squashed Strawberry, Hector's House
Backchat? What's that?
NEVER HEARD OF IT!
I WANT TO BE A MAGICIAN
Aren't magicians cool? I think so. And I always find myself trying to perform the tricks after watching the magicians do them.
Submerging my sister in a tank of water almost went wrong last time, so I won't be trying that one again... but a majority of them I've mastered.
Was that your card, WLW?
Camarac
Oi! What's this rabbit
DOING IN MY HAT?
