The Mega-Zine Museum
September 7, 2005
VIGILANTE MAELSTROM The BBC said: "Dick and Dom are back... where they belong!" I looked in the furnace, but I couldn't see them. Try Room 101...
ENCHANTED ROSE Hey WLW, are Cedric and Mabel Mop two of your alter egos? We are one, big (fairly) happy family.
SECOND PAGE TREATS
DADDYPOOS So, you've had some hairy experiences in Wigan have you? Do tell. I might have been one of them (and that question is to... No 1). Told you both not to go to Snappy Cutz.
MECHANIC MONKEY I would like to point out I am not a one-hit wonder, I'm just a victim of anti-monkey-ism. WLW? Your defence? Work that monkey magic.
CLARKY CAT I like the cut of 1929's jib. Good kitchen knife's all it takes.
I will have you all know that some
OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE MONKEYS
HI HO, WLW
How's the Mega? Good. And the 'Zine? Excellent. I recently got back from holiday, so maybe I'll write a letter sometime. Actually that's doubtful, I have season three of Futurama, don'cha know.
Well, either way, I'll give that "texting number" a ring sometime and ask to speak to a gay giraffe.
I only hope I don't get a wrong number. Hoo boy, that'd be a tough one to explain.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
Remember Megazine comes just before
MR SCIENCE TEACHER IN YER PHONE
WHEN I WERE A LAD...
- Sucking the orange stuff out of a block of ice was a treat.
- Girls only tried to drown you in the pool instead of mercilessly rebuffing you. And then drowning you in the pool.
- The sense of overwhelming failure crushed every little hope and dream I ever had.
Them were the days.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic
Did you only get a lump of coal and
A SATSUMA FOR CHRISTMAS TOO?
THE X FACTOR
I was watching this last night. And I can't believe it. Are these people deluded?
Did you see Charlotte, the 16-year-old performing arts student? Sorry, but my Hoover sings better.
Still, Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell were out of order making her cry. But she made me cry. Cry laughing, that is.
Bless Sharon Osbourne though, for leaving the auditions to speak to her. She's faaabulous!
Six Lumps Of Sugar
Singing Hoovers, eh? What next?
DANCING TUMBLE-DRYERS?
ATROCITIES
Squashed Strawberry, I remember several years ago, a bunch of established 'Ziners were impersonated on B*ckch*t.
Tabloid readers frothed at the mouths, questions were asked in Parliament, but nobody was ever charged.
Do these atrocities continue?
Norman Radcliffe
The case is still open. It is filled
HOWEVER WITH "SMASHED STRAWBERRIES"
TUFTYBEE PERSIANS
I kid you not; this is an actual breed of cat. I discovered this the other week. It was on the front of some strange cat magazine, the kind that is read by insane old people.
Anyway, I think it's an incredibly cool name. Tuftybee. Heehee. So I'm changing my name in honour of this funky breed of cat.
I shall hereby be known as...
Tuftybee (formerly Miss Tick)
Ooh, you've made an enemy today!
MEDULLA IS ONE JEALOUS MOGGY
