The Mega-Zine Museum
May 28, 2005
NORMAN RADCLIFFE Barbecue sauce covers a multitude of sins. Even cellulite?
MATTHIAS MORTIMER ZULU I thought I was going deaf all day until I realised my ear's just really waxy. Bring on the oil drops. I thought I was going blind once 'til I opened my eyes.
UNIQUELY WEIRD BROCCOLI Emma, I work in a hospital (catering... but still... and in the Midlands come to think of it). You two are kindred spirits.
CHANGES
There comes a time in every boy's life when he starts going through some changes. These changes are strange at first, but ultimately are for the best. I recently went through these changes and feel a lot better now.
I much prefer my Sony PSP to my old Gameboy.
Paddy Irishman
I thought you had the Crazy
GIRAFFE-ITIS WHICH I GOT AT 14
EXAMS
So, I hear that if certain incidents happened on the morning of my exams, I can get percentages added to my paper.
Yes. If my pets die, I can increase my points score. Do I have to bring in the pet to prove it's dead?
And how exactly would I go about proving I have a headache?
What's next? "Yes, you're stupid - have 10% extra!"
Elden Ray
How about if your folks burn your
PORRIDGE? MADE ME FAIL ONCE
CRAZY FROG
So it looks like the Crazy Frog is going to be No 1. What sort of person would possibly want listen to something going "a-ring-ding-ding"?
Seriously these are the people who need to be kept in institutions. People like my sister. For the past three days I've had to put up with that tripe coming out of my sister's room.
Can we call off the hunting ban just long enough to rid us all of the Crazy Frog?
The United Entity of "Dr Namgge" and "Comic Critic"
I have a sneaking suspicion modest
CHRIS MARTIN'S BEEN BULK-BUYING
CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED IT!
So Daggsy, I've now discovered that battle metal really is as funny as you say - Finntroll are great - I just can't believe I missed it for so long.
It's the funniest thing I've heard in ages and still find myself laughing, much to the bewilderment of passers by.
So if any of you happen to be in Sheffield and see a girl with long dark hair laughing to herself, you'll know it's probably me.
Lone Wolf
Was that you rolling around on the
GRASS OUTSIDE TOPSHOP?
IMMORALITY
So, I see a number of spiteful shopping centres have disgracefully banned anyone wearing a hooded jacket from using their vast facilities.
Well, I would just like to express my disgust at this ridiculous decision. It is clearly a diabolical act of discrimination against innocent monks.
Dry White Wine
I was escorted out when I bought
MYSELF A NEW HOODY THE OTHER DAY...
WORLD DOMINATION
When I first started reading Mega-zine I was promised that 'Ziners would be taking over the world, starting with Leicester (my home).
So I waited and waited... but it never happened.
Then I decided to move to London... so maybe we could relaunch the effort, starting with London this time! Who's with me?
Soap Sud
Do you want a gangly four-legged
LEADER? I'M YOUR GIRAFFE IF SO!
SPANISH LISTENING EXAMS
Aren't these fun? For question five, according to the various members of my class, the home economics teacher in her spare time enjoys: watching DIY programmes, baking croissants, reading war-time novels, driving through Sweden (my answer), playing cricket and training racehorses!
So, full marks all around then?
The Sheep With Nowhere to Sleep
The rain in Spain falls mainly on
THE WAR-TIME NOVEL DON'T YOU KNOW
