The Mega-Zine Museum
March 6, 2005
LOST IN TRANSLATION List of 'Ziners who smells: 1. DeLorean. End of list. How rude...
HARRY LARRY I'd like to withdraw my previous "Hallelujah" and replace it with "God help us". If that's all right with you? Go for it, giraffelet.
DREAMWEAVER What has happened to the storylines in EastEnders just recently? They seem to be so random. How can you say that, Danny Moon saw that frisbee coming a mile off...
BOX CLEVER
I am intrigued by the phrase: "Mad as a box".
I've met many boxes in my time, but I've never met one that was mad.
Well, actually there was this one box that was gibbering away and could have been mistaken for mad, but he was on medication at the time.
So... mad boxes, anyone?
Sergeant Chow
I never thought Jack-in-the-boxes
WERE NORMAL. NOR DID JACK.
NUMBERTHREE
I know a Sophia that goes to Nottingham Uni, likes fruit and is a bit of a skiver!
Does yours commute to Nottingham every day and say: "How rude!" a lot too?
If she does, then we probably have a mutual friend we never knew about! It's such a small world.
The 'Ziner With No Name
I say 'how rude' sometimes and I
LIKE FRUIT. MAYBE THERE'S 3 OF US
THINGS TO DO ON COUNTDOWN
- Ask for nine vowels
- Declare a total of 12 letters in your word
- Ask for six large numbers
- Hum along to the clocks tune
- Ask the dictionary people if you can borrow their dictionary
- Declare a total of negative three letters in your word
- Declare a word that has none of the letters shown
Dr Namgge
Now, that's a little silly really
ISN'T IT, NAMGGE? (BUT IT'S FUNNY!)
THE OPERA
I'm no big fan of opera (in actual fact I can't stand it), but imagine if there was a 'Zine one. Or a 'Zine musical at any rate. Or even if they got Teletext to sing out our letters!
You turn to p382 and a warbling voice blasts from your TV about gay giraffes. How many people could you scare?
I think in future I need to try a bit harder with ideas. But also, I'm too lethargic today. Meh.
Elden Ray
I used to have a mate called Barry
TONE. DOES THAT COUNT?
MMM... LUNCH
A friend of mine goes out to the supermarket every day to get her lunch. It consists of: Two Marmite rolls, Doritos, Fanta, chocolate buttons and jelly snakes - all washed down with a half pint of semi-skimmed milk. She then tells me she's feeling sick.
And me? After becoming outraged at my local chippy for not supplying mayonnaise, I now enjoy a KitKat and a cup of water. Lurvely.
Ye Purple Puff of Ancient Lore
Cor Blimey. I take it you've never
ENCOUNTERED SCARY GILLIAN MCKEITH?
TIMES ZONES
How do! Good Lord, it's been a while. About three years, maybe more!
So what's been happening? Did anyone find out what WLW stands for? Did Fluffy the Evil One return? Did The Brigadier get shoved into an old people's home, and if so can I flog his medals? What about poetry corner?
Well anyway, I'm here to stay now. Pass me my walking stick, and you young whippersnappers sit down and behave!
David D Davidson
Welcome back indeed... Anyone else
THINK HE'S GONE SENILE? SHH...
BACK TO THE FUTURE AGAIN
I have come to the conclusions that time zones are a conspiracy.
As I don't quite see the point of them, I think they are a conspiracy by industries that want to control holidaymaking, as many holidaymakers may be deterred by having to reset their watches.
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have drunk that Toilet Duck.
The Wonky Gnome
I had a duck who lived in my toilet
ONCE. BUT THEN MY TOILET WAS A LAKE
