The Mega-Zine Museum
February 4, 2005
THE UNAMBIGUOUS URBANITE For the 'Zine swear word, I think you should use crapulent, which I learnt t'other day off 'Zine itself. I beg your pardon!
THE OWL OF BEWILDERMENT Open the windows - I wouldn't go back in there for a while. Heard that one before.
BANK OF FRIENDSHIP Why is your name censored then, Numberthree? What's so offensive about being named after a number? It's what the number stands for in some parts...
LOSING IT
I yelled at the Guides last week. Yelled to the point the Portakabin we meet in shook.
This week they told me off for telling them off.
Supposedly as "the cool one" I am meant to be nice and leave the shouting to the other leaders.
I am very, very scared...
Numberthree
What does the wise Brown Owl make of
THIS? OH, THAT'S THE BROWNIES...
LITTLE BLUE FOX,
You think your town is bad? Of the only things in my town, there is a lingerie store (it has pretty window displays), a crockery store, and a very large pub: surface area ratio.
Not that I'm complaining. It's just the town's a prison with no way out, although there's no metal bars.
It's just a dull, dull island of dullness.
Elden Ray
Hope you're not thinking of going to
THE PUB IN YOUR PANTS WITH A TEAPOT
WALKIE TALKIE
I got one of those pedometers yesterday, as part of the South Gloucestershire council's witchcraft to get people walking around.
It's quite cool, but the fact I pace about a lot messes up the stats a bit.
Also, I've been sitting down a lot today, which doesn't help, though if I tally a million steps, I win something. Or possibly nothing. My current count is 5,846 since this morning.
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller
If you walk backwards do you start
LOSING POINTS AGAIN?
WHAT A HAPPY TALE
All the recent talk of cats and kittens left me inspired. Enjoy.
I had a cat once.
A black one.
We called him Snowy.
Fat he was.
'Til he died.
Camarac
Must be from same place as Elden Ray
WHERE IT SNOWS IN BLACK
DARE TO BELIEVE
Finally, someone else who has seen this! It is undoubtedly the funniest thing ever.
The agua moose dude rules the most. Aaaaaguaaaa Moooooose!
Everyone should watch this.
I thank my insomnia for letting me discover its brilliance.
Her Infernal Majesty
Are you saying we should all develop
INSOMNIA? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO VCRS?
WHERE'S THAT TO?
To Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller - I'm also in Bristol.
But I've never written in before, so you might well be the only regular 'Ziner in the village (city).
Mr Wedge's Green Strobe of Doom
And we welcome you with open arms
OH WEIRD WEDGY ONE
WHY PREFECTS RULE
Because I'm a form prefect of course. I love my Year 7s. Before, I couldn't see what purpose they held and thought they were corridor targets, but now I see that they're actually very cool.
This is in no way influenced by last week when they chanted my name (I made them stop). I wish to train them as my army then take over some nearby targets, like Calais.
What else can I do with this power?
Matthias Mortimer Zulu
What a disturbing image. A corridor
OF YOUNG CHILDREN CHANTING 'ZULU'...
