The Mega-Zine Museum
February 2, 2005
VIGILANTE MAELSTROM Grrr. Just you wait 'til I'm older than you! Never...
ROMEO O'REILLY To show you I don't lack romance, here's a bunch of dying plants and there's a card underneath. And some chocs to rot your your teeth. Er, will you be someone else's Valentine?
CAMARAC In response to the Owl of Bewilderment, the clue is in the chorus "looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year". Hope that clears it up. What's that Noise?
THINGS TO DO WITH A TURNIP
- Bring it up as your child
- Hollow it out and stick a candle in it
- Use it as a paperweight
- Get married to it
- Use it as a spinning top
- Attach a leash to it and walk it like a dog
- Wear it as a hat
The Wonky Gnome
Or alternatively cook it and have it
WITH A POTATO AND SWEDE STEW
KFC ADVERTS
How fan-tastic are they?
People just doing normal stuff like eating KFC and singing while they do it! Amazing. Of course, it's nothing like real life. Unless you live in Christina Aguilera's house or with a gazillion-and-one cats.
And everyone eats KFC. Or, indeed, if you live with me. I like singing. Doesn't mean I can.
What was my point again?
Ambiguous Snail
You could say they were fab. Either
THAT OR IRRITATINGLY HORRENDOUS!!!
KENZIE
Our worst fears have come true!
When Nadia won Big Brother, she tried to launch a singer career on us. Right at the start of Celebrity BB, when we found out Kenzie was in, I just knew he'd try the same. And it's true, he's going to try going solo - a proper singing career!
May God have mercy on us all.
Crinkle-cut Beatroot
Wonder if he'll have the appeal of
NADIA OR PETER ANDRE?
FEELING NEGLECTED
I'm never in lists. I'm going to make my own list. With ninjas and gold. It's going to have all good people. Oh yes.
Four years, right, and I've been in one list. Maybe two. But, that's only because I made people do it.
Kind of the effect I'm trying for with this letter, actually.
Lilac Leopard the Unlisted
If only I had more screen space I'd
LIST YOUR NAME OVER, OVER. OH WELL
OUR HOUSE
We got our house for next year sorted. We have found the mysterious fourth housemate - a girl whose name we can't pronounce. So we'll call her Jill.
Four chemists, one house, a huge rent bill. We could probably sell it to five for a documentary series.
At least no more having to pay for my own TV licence. Paying £30 is always so much better than paying £130.
Numberthree
Or if you're me, £30 is better than
A £1,000 FINE. WHICH REMINDS ME..!
A TERM HALF FULL
You know, half term? That lovely break in February where you do nothing but eat Jaffa Cakes for a week and resent that you only get one week to rest?
But hang on. What is this I see in the college timetable? Where's thus said half term? Oh, that's right, we don't get one.
I know uni folks don't get one either, but to be fair they get a month at Easter. I can't help but think I'm being ripped off here.
Local Person
Have you thought about writing to
SOMEONE ABOUT IT? ER, OTHER THAN ME?
SECRET AGENT MAN
I think I'd make a cool private detective. I could wear a long coat and a hat, go into seedy bars to ask women for information, and if I have time, catch the bad guy.
I'll have a black and white office, with "Paddy Irishman PI" on the door.
Wait a minute, Paddy Irishman PI? People will call me PIPI! Nooo!
Paddy Irishman
Aw, Pipi. How cute! Maybe we should
CALL YOU THAT FROM NOW ON? NO?
