The Mega-Zine Museum
October 17, 2004
BARNEY THE BINMAN I'm shattered. I've been shifting big bags of surrealism all day. Did Salvador Dali drive the dumper truck?
MERCY NUTS WLW, I am the real deal. Please feed me. Twiglets, Jaffa Cakes or big bags of surrealism?
DR NAMGGE I've found the meaning of life and I must say it was rather easy to find. It can be found in the dictionary after lieutenant. Why were we worrying so much?!
'NUFF RESPECT
I don't expect the older 'Ziners to respect or like me.
I just plan to stay around long enough so that the newer ones don't know any better.
It worked for Madonna.
YeahYeahYeah
Are you planning to sport a conical
BRA AND WRITE CHILDREN'S BOOKS?
FIVE TRULY GREAT WORDS
- Spiv. As in "How do, Spiv?"
- Corr. As in "Whoa, Andrea"
- Luxury. As in "Do you like my luxury garden fork?"
- Bothered. As in "Can I be bothered to finish this list?"
- No.
Farmer Jack
You started off well but by the end
YOU WERE MORE BORE THAN CORR
THE LLAMAS ARE RESTLESS
Well hello! After a year of hiding I'm back, brandishing my new name. The roadkill got themselves a new goddess.
Anyhow. I can see the hordes of newbies scratching at the gates of 'Zine. It's a different place here now.
Where are the people that were here when I was? Spafey, Pandora, Skutter Bob, Mortal Wombat, Brocolli — where are you all hiding? Have the llamas abducted you?
Bionic Coyote
Now now 'Ziners we MUST look to the
FUTURE. IT'S WHAT THE OLDIES WANT
IF THIS IS PARADISE I WISH I HAD A LAWNMOWER
This doesn't apply to you Rasmus fans, but for people with taste I invite you all to embrace the crazy genius that is Mr David Byrne.
Have you seen the video for Once In A Lifetime? If you haven't then you're missing out on something quite special and something quite, quite mad.
We're on a road to nowhere, WLW.
Looney Tune
I was on a road to nowhere once and
I ENDED UP AT HOME. HMMM...
CLARIFICATION
My grandad, who knows Ken Dodd, says that Frank Carson, who knows everyone, stole that joke, that Paddy Irishman told, from Tom O'Connor, who was on Countdown a few weeks ago, and he stole it from Ken Dodd who told it at the 1966 Royal Command performance, only it wasn't a gong it was a drum.
Strangely enough, it got a laugh in 1966.
Ffffifffi
There's a lesson to be learned here
FOR ALL OF US, EVERY SINGLE ONE
THINGS I'VE LEARNT FROM WOMEN'S MAGAZINES
- Fruit is good for you
- Gynaecomastia is surprisingly common
- Kate and Orlando are engaged
- Victoria Beckham is rich
- Men are pigs
Who says the media is dumbing down?
Norman Radcliffe
What are you doing reading no-brain
GLOSSY MAGS EXACTLY, SIR RADCLIFFE?
PLEASE LET IT SNOW
Every year I wish for snow. Not a paltry, speckled covering, but proper Good King Wenceslas-type snow — deep and crisp and even.
If the sky were to open and pour out three foot of snow and snowflakes I would be so happy.
Yet Jim'll Fix It is no longer on, so can you arrange it for the world WLW?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Elden Ray
Either your wish is granted or I need
TO BUY SOME MORE HEAD & SHOULDERS
