The Mega-Zine Museum
April 9, 2004
ANXIOUS AARDVARK Just think of how many yeasts died to make your sandwich. I say we hold a minute's silence for the poor little guys. They have themselves to blame, standing near the oven.
HER INFERNAL MAJESTY Men: toy with them, then destroy them. Or just eat the chocolate.
YE PURPLE PUFF OF ANCIENT LORE What's cookin'? Sausage roll? Swiss roll? Bacon roll? All three? What do you fancy? Sausage and brown sauce please.
PARTY
I used to think it would be great to have a 'Zine party. But now I realise it would just leave me upset. I'd go there, be too shy to talk to anyone and stand in the corner.
Then I'd go and buy some lemons, cut them in half and suck them.
Plughole Fantasy
Mabel couldn't stand
CLEARING UP THE MESS
AH HA!
WLW, you've been found out. In one particular reply, you stated that you were afraid of spiders. Men would never do this — especially in public (ie, on Teletext.)
Believe me, none of the males in my house would ever admit to being afraid of the hairy eight-legged horrors, although they frequently run away screaming when they see one.
So, in conclusion, WLW is a woman. End of story.
The Last Mouse On Earth
Did you not see Peter Andre in the
I'M A CELEB GLASS CASE?
MY WATCH
I got this really cool watch for my birthday.
It's dynamo-powered, so the battery never wears out. It's waterproof, can withstand temperatures of up to 360 degrees, and survive an impact similar to being sat on by a heavily pregnant walrus.
And I've only gone and lost the thing.
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller
And I was going to
SEND MY WALRUS FRIEND ROUND
TAKE THE MIKE
Anyone watch this? A bunch of stand-up comedians do their thing and the best one wins something.
The other day, someone was saying how he thought Lionel Blair should run the country, and Tony Blair could go do something else for a while.
We could call it the Blair switch project.
The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning
I might take an interest in politics
JUST TO SEE THAT
MMMMM, SOOOOO GOOD...
Are you hungry? Do you crave chocolate? Of course you do.
Well, why not try a Stuttercut produced Lovely Bar? It contains 12 different types of chocolate and is guaranteed to make you happy and fulfilled.
Ignore the recent reports of Lovely Bars leading to instant eye falling out and burst arms.
Buy Lovely Bars now.
Stuttercut
I never mix
MY CHOCS
AOL
I signed on today to be greeted by an article on AOL concerning 25 ways to be a better man!
There is nothing that makes a man better because that would mean that they have potential to start with.
They all smell. That's right, they smell.
Citizen Twiggy
Some of them smell nice
WONDER IF BRIGGIE DOES?
EASTER
Everyone's buying their Easter eggs at the wrong time. You should wait a week after Easter when the shops try to clear their over crowded shelves.
The eggs go cheap. That's why our family celebrate Easter a week after everyone else.
Now who wants some cheap eggs?
Flying Turnip
Eggs that go cheap!
THAT TICKLED MY FEATHERS
