The Mega-Zine Museum
February 29, 2004
JUNIOR MINISTER This Idiot's Guide To Windows XP I bought is rather hard to understand. I rue the day computers were invented. That's what the nerds exist for. Helping!
LITTLE MISS ME I'm not perfect but I'm so darn close it scares me! Close in what? Spiky Stuy's arrogance?
CITIZEN TWIGGY Is being a groupie a bad thing? Because it seems quite appealing. Hmmm... if you're thinking Blazin' Squad we need words.
THEORY
You know those utterly pointless time-wasting "personality" questionnaires you get sent over e-mail, well, who started these things?
I'm convinced it was the Government trying to keep tabs on us all by wanting to know things like our shoe size, fave ice cream flavour, season, emotion and tree. IT's all a giant conspriracy!
Yes, I did like The X-Files when I was younger.
Cherries Jubilee
What's wrong with a gentle distraction
FROM THE SERIOUS WORLD?
DESPERATE
| DIZZY: | "Some of the girls on here seem rather desperate." |
| DOTTY: | "It's WLW's after-shave lotion, it drives them wild. |
| DIZZY: | "You said WLW is a female. |
| DOTTY: | "He is." |
| DIZZY: | "Then why is she wearing after-shave lotion?" |
| DOTTY: | "It was a Christmas present." |
I'm A Little Teapot
Granny WLW's sight isn't too good
NEITHER IS HER SENSE OF SMELL
'ZINE WEBSITES
On an idle jaunt through cyberspace last week, I typed Mega-zine into a search engine, and was astonished to find a whole wealth of websites devoted to our beloved pages.
After perusing said websites, I have come to the conclusion that the page run by Insane Jam Sow is by far the best. This is based upon many stringent test criteria, plus I really like the background colour.
Kudos to you, Sow!
Vladimir's Hat
Nothing's as good as the real deal
EH? COME ON. YEAH?
REASONS WHY DAVID LEE ROTH IS GREAT
- He's into martial arts.
- He's very agile for 47.
- He looks hilarious in spandex.
- He writes funny songs.
- He has an "elephant gun".
- He was in Van Halen.
Luco El Loco
He gets a name-check in
THE WEDDING SINGER
REASONS FOR FAILING MY DIPLOMA
- I failed on purpose, to make everyone else look good.
- I didn't "fail" exactly, I just sort of forgot to pass.
- I like all the tutors so much, that I wanted to do ANOTHER two years.
- The dog was eaten by the cat, who then are my work too.
- Failing that, I could just not turn up for the next month.
Farmer Jack
Let me know which your parents
DON'T BELIEVE THE MOST
SO MANY CANDLES
Everybody knows that Jesus Christ was born, if at all, in March 4AD. This is opposed to December, because the nativity clearly has shepherds with lambs (lambs born in winter? Absurd!)
My point is that this March would be His 2,000th birthday. But what do I get the person who has/knows/controls everything?
Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller
Buy yourself something instead
IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS
MAGIC PEN
You're so right, Wonky Gnome, it is my magic pen that draws in the girls.
I mean, I can make it grow and shrink, it has two types of ink and I can move it without touching it.
Also, Narnia is lovely and warm today and pink is just so my colour it goes just darling with my complexion.
Spiky Stuy
That sounds filled with innuendo
MY KINDA TALK!
