The Mega-Zine Museum
February 11, 2004
MISS SNAZ I've apparently slipped out of rank to 19th place! 19th place, what an embarrassment. That means 18 other people have been shown on here more than me! Outrage! Better get writing some decent letters then.
THEUNITEDTRUTH Cobweb At The End Of The Rainbow — an educational book. Read it, that is all. I'm not going to start on education now.
ROCKSTAR SEAN I'm going to see Incubus soon. Poor you.
HERE'S A THINKER
I challenge all you 'Ziners to work out whether I am a boy or a girl. Here are three clues to help you on your way:
- I used to have a pet fish called Eric.
- I loathe tuna.
- My father is called Harold.
Danger Ranger Monkey Buckle Shoe
Who
CARES?
RI:SE
Even although I admit that RI:SE was the worst programme ever on breakfast TV, the mornings this new year have been so dull without it. Kate Lawler's constant whining and Iain Lee's terrible jokes kept me laughing all day.
Mornings will never be the same again.
Goodbye RI:SE. Rest in peace.
The Sheep With Nowhere to Sleep
I can't even
REMEMBER IT
DIALOGUE
| FAHRENHEIT: | "Have you seen that stuff by I'm A Little Teapot?" |
| PRETENDER: | "Yeah, it consists of conversation by two fools." |
| FAHRENHEIT: | "It did proclaim me a genius, though." |
| PRETENDER: | "Aye, you are though." |
| FAHRENHEIT: | "Cheers, you too." |
| PRETENDER: | "U2? What Bono and that?" |
| FAHRENHEIT: | "Never mind..." |
Mr Fahrenheit
And the point is...
ANSWERS ON A POSTCARD
STOP IT!
I don't want to be one of those people who write in complaining that their letter hasn't been printed, just to get it printed. Those people annoy me.
Stop it now, or else I'll send you six copies of the Busted album!
Oh, and also, why haven't I been printed yet?
Not So Big Dave
We were waiting until
YOU MENTIONED BUSTED
A REPLY TO THE WONKY GNOME
I, too, live in a town where haitch is preferred to aitch. It drives me mad.
Also, garage is garidge and plaster is plasta. Ah, English lessons will become a different thing in the future.
At the risk of sounding ancient, it was better in my day!
Queen Of The Elbow
I say garidge too
THE OTHER WAY IS FOR AMERICANS
SCONE OR SCON?
I'd like to put my argument ahead for scon. This is because the great eastern monks have predetermined the pronunciation of this name through a game of Russian roulette with the lab rats across the road.
Those who say scone have overlooked the glomerular matrix and other factors.
Plus, nobody likes a know-it-all so I'll be quiet.
Mercy Nuts
Please refrain from
SUCH LONG DULL RAMBLINGS
HEALTH TIME
In a bid to make the school food more "healthy", the geniuses (!) upstairs have decided to restock the vending machines with healthier food.
So what is their idea of healthy food? You're going to love this —
Jaffa Cakes.
Ye Purple Puff of Ancient Lore
I knew my doctor
WOULD BE IMPRESSED WITH MY DIET
