The Mega-Zine Museum
February 1, 2004
AGGIE HUGEBOTTOM The only difference between a regular and a newbie is that the regular has been getting away with it for longer. We are all equals.
NEMESIS 'Zine is like real life in one respect — those who dish it out can't take it. Name names, go on!
GOOD OLD GERT No one's going to notice but just in case, I'm changing my name from Gerty and her Onions to Good Old Gert. I'm growing up. Sort of. Not really. Bored of having onion breath?
GRAMMAR LESSON
I was reading Backchat the other day over my porridge when I noticed a most amusing letter. A poor misguided young ignoramus was inquiring whether the past participle of "bring" was "brang", "brung" or "bringed".
If my knowledge of the English language was as lacking as that, I would have shooted myself a long time ago.
Vladimir's Hat
They should ask that Fame Academy bloke
HE KNOWS ABOUT BRINGING IT ON
WAYS TO BE CHILDISH
- Tap a friend repeatedly on the arm for no apparent reason.
- Constantly mishear everyone.
- Randomly push someone else's personal items over.
- Sniffle incessantly.
- ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- Chew on borrowed pens.
- Hum an annoying tune repeatedly ie. Barman.
- Sneeze on your hand and wipe it on a friends' keyboard.
Annoying Zaganza
THERE'S NO NEED
TO SHOUT
THE ROCK CONCERT
Months of waiting for tickets,
But the arrival came in time,
Promoting their album of hits,
Came the band in their prime,
January the twenty-first,
I saw my first big gig,
Lemonade quenched my thirst,
As the roadies fixed the rig,
They appeared under the light beam,
The greatness that is Primal Scream.
Luco El Loco
Such a build up
THEN AN ANTI-CLIMAX
CHINESE DINING EXPERIENCE
Ever been to a Chinese buffet thing just after Chinese New Year? I've never felt so rushed. Thousands of people, all there to eat, eat, eat!
It was a case of come in, sit down, get food, eat food, pay money, get out, next please! No time to be picky — I just ate what I could get at — mainly rice and lettuce.
I think I'll just get a pizza delivered next time.
Insane Jam Sow
They go a great buffet where
I GO ON HOLIDAY. NOT CHINESE MIND
ARRANT NERD BOXES YODELLER
I thank you for responding to my Lemony Snicket declaration. You have won my heart.
To be honest, I didn't really understand your letter as you used some really long words.
Are you a boy? If so I want to marry you.
The Lightning Lady
Play a little
HARD TO GET!
MEATLOAF THE GOD
In reply To The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning, I too share your adoration of Meatloaf and his long-named songs. I even had the privilege of going to see him. He's big over in Manchester. Well, he's big everywhere.
I hear he's turning vegetarian but he will to have to change his name to Nut Roast. I could go on with the jokes but he might find me and sit on me.
The One With Little Significance
Handy to have around
IN A COOK-A-THON
GNOMEWORK
I've decided to write to you WLW, after trying to do an assignment for three hours now. How many people actually care if I write about an advert or not? Maybe the head gnome, but he's had it in for me for a while now.
Also, Everyone should boycott the Scissor Sisters' version of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb.
Have you done your homework WLW? Of course you have.
Grimble Gromble
I've been listening to Scissor Sisters
STUDYING THEM HARD
