The Mega-Zine Museum
January 18, 2004
SYKOPATHIK MUSHROOM Does it really matter if you can lick your elbow or not!? It isn't even a good party trick anyway. And it's getting boring thinking of replies.
QUEEN OF THE ELBOW May I be the first to say, how do you eat yours, WLW? I gobble.
HINAUFZUPUMPENN Statistics are like bikinis: what they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Interesting comparison.
SIMS
I, too, have experienced the wonder of the Sims.
Did you know that if you build a two-storey house, you can delete the first floor and have a floating house!
Danger Ranger Monkey Buckle Shoe
A floating house
MIGHT MAKE ME GIDDY
BOREDOM
As I am really bored at this moment in time, I shall now make my dog, Kitty, walk across the keyboard to see if he types anything funny or amusing.
idvboinpou mjn9i,kp90[l.,p
I thank you.
Paddy Irishman and Kitty
Those paw prints
WILL BE HARD TO REMOVE
DEAR THE LIGHTNING LADY
For a brief moment, I read your name as The Lightning Seeds and that reminded me of that sugar-coated iceberg which tasted so sweet.
Thank you, I'll cherish that snippet of a memory for a very long time.
And that dude you wrote in about, never heard of him.
Miss Snaz
There's icebergs hanging from my nose
THE HEATING IS BROKEN
BOOBS
I wish mine were bigger, which is kind of ironic since my surname is Brar. And my initials are DK. If only my parents had named me D Cup Brar.
I'm sorry, is this making you uncomfortable WLW?
I wonder what happened to Briggie? He was old.
Citizen Twiggy
Briggie will appreciate the tale
IF HE'S STILL ALIVE???
HELLO 'ZINE
Hello 'Zine. I am very distressed as you didn't print a letter I wrote in reply to Triangular Frostbite.
I hate ignorance and it really does my tree in. I do not want to be portrayed as an ignoramus!
So now that is cleared up, I will go and apply mascara to my eyes (with my mouth open).
The Long Blonde Brunette
You leave your
MOUTH OPEN TOO?!
HOW TO BECOME A TOWNIE IN THREE EASY STEPS
- Get yourself something Burberry (either real or a market knock-off).
- Buy plenty of white socks, hoist them up so high your voice reaches a whole new pitch that only dogs can hear.
- Buy a ridiculously oversized chain, preferably with your "street" name on it, eg, I-B-Wrong, and hang it round your neck.
Jan of the Pink Gravy
Instructions
THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
MUSHROOMS
It was during a moment of sheer madness that I told my careers advisor I wanted to be a mushroom picker.
It was during a moment of sheer madness that she actually believed me.
Ho hum, another day...
Satan's Little Helper
Sounds as helpful as my careers woman
SAID I SHOULD BE A HAIRDRESSER!
