The Mega-Zine Museum
December 23—28, 2003
CAPTAIN STUPIDO I hate geography. That is all. You've lost me already.
EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL Cliff Richard is so annoying. I mean, what does he do for the rest of the year? Goes into hibernation or something? He sits at home compiling his Santa's list.
DESHMAN How do you know it's Christmas in Cumbria? Simple, the Townies move out of the bus shelters. Bus shelters in Cumbria? They're lucky!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Who was it that said Blondie "started punk"? This is outrageous, as punk was started in Britain not New York as this person had been thinking.
Even my mum, who was around during those brilliant times, said that Blondie were new wave, not punk! Ha. Get your musical history facts right missy!
(By the way, I love Blondie).
Queen of the Entire Leprechaun Population
The only Blondie I know is...
LINDA BARKER
THE CHURCH OF THE SPOON
Join me, 'Ziners, in worshipping in the Church Of The Spoon.
Every Monday (the day which we must demand to have free as it is now a sacred day) we will bow down and pray to the God Of Spoons.
We will admire the shininess, the curviness, the food we consume from its miraculous concave shape. Our motto will be: "The Church Of The Spoon. Worshipping something that has a point."
The Elusive Moose
Just be careful of Uri Geller
HE BENDS SPOONS
BIDDY WARFARE
In reply to that old biddy, may I just say that us "whippersnappers" couldn't give a festive fig about the good old days!
Anyway, why are all youths referred to as hooligans? Yes, we may run around drunk from time to time, kissing the opposite sex but hey, that's Christmas time, mistletoe and wine!
The Long Blonde Brunette
You don't see Sir Cliff Richard
BEHAVING LIKE THAT
CURRY PERSON
I know someone who made a curry in Food Tech and put it in his locker. It is still there a year and three months later.
I must have got used to the smell because when other people complain about it I don't know what they are talking about.
Queen Bee
You should charge to smell it
MAKE IT A CASH AND CURRY
TRUE CHRISTMAS MYTHS
- It's better to give than receive — false!
Whoever said that obviously never got any gifts at all. - 'Tis the season to be jolly — false!
'Tis the season to be cold. - Father Christmas drinks too much sherry — true!
He has so much drink on Christmas Eve that his sleigh can be seen flying erratically around the sky as he mixes up all the presents and delivers them to the wrong people.
Mr Self Destruct
You won't recognise him now
HE'S SHAVED HIS BEARD OFF
MAGICAL ME
I, too, have tried the elbow-licking thing. In fact, it has become my life's ambition to be the first person to lick their own elbow.
Unfortunately, last time I tried I couldn't do anything with my left arm for four weeks because I pulled all the muscles. Ooops...
Blonde Butterfly
Maybe try something else...
YOUR HEEL
SPORTS PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR
Did anyone watch this programme? I did and I'm not pleased at the outcome of what I saw. Sports personality of the last two months would have been more appropriate.
Apart from all you rugby fans out there can anyone else tell me who Jonny Wilkinson was before the rugby world cup? I don't think so.
Jonny Who
Off on my Christmas hols now —
BACK NEXT MONDAY
