Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

December 14, 2003

THE FALLEN ANGEL The Unauthorised Version. God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. Santa won't be visiting you this year.

JINGLE WLW, agreeing with people is boring. Do you agree? Sometimes I can't be bothered.

FAT HEAD It appears my powers have weakened, Mr Bond. Anyway, we'll have to finish playing this game of snakes and ladders tomorrow. Sorry, but I have a day off.

WHY?

I was reading p383 and this was on it:

"Spotted: Alistair Griffen on a computer for a lengthy amount of time backstage at TOTP."

Mmmmmmm... great "goss", guys!

Sykopathik Mushroom

You say that like your letters are

REGULARLY MORE INTERESTING!

THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

The Smashing Pumpkins and Pixies to reform.
Keira Knightley... mmm, yes.
A social left.
Sean Paul to fall down a bottomless pit.

Make my Christmas wishes come true, please, O great WLW.

Samurai Hedgehog

I'm not Santa

LOOK, NO BEARD!

'ZINER AWARDS

Funniest — Adolf Von Schtumpenpumpen.
Cleverest — No nominations.
Most Original — The Thieving Magpie.
Most Prolific — Roger Rabbit.
Sexiest — Aggie Hugebottom.
Best Newcomer — He couldn't come.
Most Devoted Busted Fan — WLW.
Best Haircut — Shaggy The Sheepdog.
Best Name — Lionel.

Godfrey Daniels

Devoted Busted fan — me?

I'M NOT EMMA-THE-LIL'-ANGEL!

WIGAN PERSON!

Whoever it was who said they were from Wigan, do you know a girl called Zoe? She works at Ticketmaster and went to see Evanescence in Manchester where she met me and my two cohorts. She had a friend with her, but I forget her name.

Oh, and by the way, Evanescence were fantastic, even without Ben Moody, who had sulked off back to America. I do hate it when guitarists wander off at random times.

The Lonely Brain Cell

Kym Marsh is from Wigan

BE AFRAID

CHRISTMAS DECOR

I hate to moan (again), but why do people insist on covering their homes with Christmas lights? From the Ghostbustersesque giant inflatable snowmen to those fools who wrap their doors in fairy lights, the festive spirit spreads like a plague from neighbour to neighbour.

How many people die every Crimbo when planes mistake these luminous rows of houses for runways? Anyone?

Arrant Nerd Boxes Yodeller

Think about their electric bills

AND LAUGH WITH ME

WE NEED MORE STICKS

Here are some random lines from the book, Lord Of The Flies:

"The droppings were warm",
"sucks to your auntie",
"wacco, wizard, smashing" and, finally,
"yours is a big one".

Rockstar Sean

I knew there was good reason

I HADN'T READ IT

NEWS FLASH

A motorist, driving without due care, turned sharply and ran straight into Christmas, which was just around the corner.

After the tinsel had cleared, police were able to assess the damage. Among the casualties were 12 million mobile phones, 6 million bottles of rancid after-shave, 2 million ill-fitting cardigans and 12 Gareth Gates CDs.

Merry Christmas to all you motorists.

Hello Mum

12 Gareth CDs?

GET ONE GIFT, ANOTHER FREE?

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