The Mega-Zine Museum
July 31, 2003
PRINCESS PSYCHO Remember that we have to preserve wildlife, so I'm going to pickle a squirrel. He's had his onions, then.
ERIPMAV Why do birds suddenly appear? Every time you are near? Just like me, they long to have... your mouldy stale bits of bread. Well, someone's got to eat them. Waste not, want not.
LA MOOOSH Where are you, WLW? It's too dark and I can't see in here. Over to the left a bit. Reach out and you can grab my tail.
BRIGGIE ID
I think I know the true identity of Briggie. He's Richard Whitely from Countdown.
Think about it. All the signs are there — he's always leering at Carol, he waffles on thinking he's so amusing and he has that red complexion from too many sherries.
What more proof do you need?
The Immortal Dead
I would agree but I doubt Briggie
CAN COUNT TO MORE THAN 10
I'M IN LOVE
I thought I would share some news with you. I have fallen in love with the gingerbread man.
I couldn't bear the thought of eating him so I have put him on my window sill.
Just in case you are wondering, his name is James.
The New Thing That No One Cares About
Surely he wants to be eaten
THAT'S WHAT MINE TOLD ME...
ODE TO THE SUMMERTIME
Summertime, summertime,
Isn't it fine?
Especially when one has loads of free time.
The only problem with this season, I suppose,
Is how all this pollen affects my nose,
Some people get cranky because of the heat,
And this isn't something you can easily beat.
Ed the Demented Squirrel
Try working in WLW Towers
I OFTEN THINK I'M IN A SAUNA
WOTCHA 'ZINE LAND!
Hey there, fellow 'Zinesters! We're what you might call newbies! That's right WE! My name's Denny Mega Vonce! And I'm Buntycakes McSprangle.
Our favourite hobbies are: Jaffa cake jousting, growing moss on house bricks and collecting pink fridges — random or what?
We'll see you crazy funkloops around!
The International Marmite Freckle Brigade
So it was you who stole
DAVORD'S POP CHILLER?!
HMMMMMMM...
Ahhh, Dr Nick's hallowed pages. Where else can you find magik little ditties such as (and I quote):
- "You are NOT the love police!" (Oh really? And there I was thinking that I was)
- "You may have a problem!" (Like duh — why'd you think I wrote in?)
- "Chill out man, and let natural things happen naturally!" (How else do natural things happen?)
Justcallmefluff
I'm petitioning for Marcel
TO REPLACE HIM
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I THOUGHT...
- A budget was a baby budgerigar.
- There were wolves under my bed.
- A bogeyman lived behind the shed.
- I was a badger called Dennis.
Fibreglass Monkey
Baby budgies...
GET DOWN MAVIS, THEY'RE NOT HERE!
UGH!
My friend nicked a scone off her sister that she had made that day and didn't like it so she gave it to me.
It was supposed to be chocolate but was really salty and I didn't like it either.
Found out two weeks later that she put beef gravy granules in by accident.
The One Who Sells Muffins
You'll never believe I am really eating
A SCONE WHILE READING THIS! YUK
