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July 30, 2003

SAMURAI HEDGEHOG Today's pearl of wisdom: anyone who says nothing is impossible clearly hasn't tried to slam a revolving door. I thank you. I did get stuck in one recently though...

LANK Introducing... Lank! In the words of Tony the Tiger, I'm grrreeaat! PS Print me or I'll devalue the pound... Do you limp around?

XENA: LOLLIPOP LADY What's the name of that tall guy in Busted, with the big slugs for eyebrows? Charlie. Future beau of Emma the-lil'-angel.

 

MEN — WHO NEEDS 'EM?

Why is it that males are inexplicable?

I mean, when you're without one, you yearn and lust for 'em, and then the second you have them, you can't wait to get rid of them...

The fickle world of love.

Urban Chic

Nice to see you're learning

IT LASTS UNTIL YOU'RE 95

 

PULLING FRIENDS

It's a common concept that people "pull" girlfriends/boyfriends, but imagine if you "pulled" friends.

For example:

ZAGANZA:"Hey there, er, can I buy you a drink?"
TOPPER:"Sure."
ZAGANZA:"Er, wanna be my friend?"
TOPPER:"What's in it for me?"
ZAGANZA:"Eternal happiness."
TOPPER:"Sure, here's my number."
ZAGANZA:"Wahoo, back of the net!"

Zaganza

I can see the tug-of-war

STARTING UP NOW

 

MOSHING

I'd like to express my love for moshing. It is very expressive and the rapid movement lets all my feelings out, especially after exams.

It is great fun as long as you don't get squashed. Punk sounds even better when you're bouncing up and down to it like a jumping bean.

Oh yeah, just another thing: I hate Placebo.

Gothbabe

Don't do it on a full stomach

MOSHING IN SICK ISN'T FUN AT ALL

 

THINGS I LEARNT IN MAJORCA

  • Mallorcans don't understand Yorkshire accents unless you pay them.
  • People who stand on the streets trying to convince you their pub will make you feel better than the Queen on pay day are lying.
  • Hotel lifts get stuck — usually when you are in them with the smelly 75-year-old from floor 8.

Don't go, people.

Lilac Leopard

At least it's not Lanzarote

MORE LANZAGROTTY IF YOU ASK ME

 

MOON LANDING, SCHMOON LANDING

Retro slaphead had a wonderful idea of putting Louis Armstrong on the moon.

Unfortunately, there was no such thing as a moon landing. The video was quite obviously a forgery. I mean, there is no wind on the moon, and the American flag was waving around in the background.

What do the Americans take us for?

The DeLorean That Got Struck By Lightning

Can't your flying car and the doc

DOUBLE CHECK TO MAKE SURE?

 

SOME THINGS ABOUT THE POTTER BOOKS I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW

Firstly, in the area I live in, we have Dudley Hill, Dursley Avenue and Snape Close.

And speaking of Snape, his first name, Severus, is Latin for grumpy. Obviously, JK Rowling couldn't think of a word meaning greasy-haired git.

Serious Weirdo (and the other five personalities)

You live somewhere almost as great

AS HOGWARTS ITSELF. IMPRESSIVE

 

INTERNET CHAT ROOMS

While on my 10-hour-in-a-row TV watching marathon, my finger slipped and I hit the button for five, discovering a programme called The Wright Stuff, where they were discussing whether to get rid of internet chat rooms.

How can they do this? I'll never meet the obese 40-year-old woman of my dreams now.

Mercy Nuts

Have you seen Karen from Sauce's

BROTHER ON THAT? HE'S NOT OBESE