The Mega-Zine Museum
July 17, 2003
SYKOPATHIC MUSHROOM I have just spent four hours in A&E with my sister who had her finger stuck in a cola bottle. She is very stupid for a 13-year-old. You won't believe what Mavis catches!
ACOOKINGEGG You could fit the Big Brother highlights show into a 3-minute time slot and still have room for a commercial break, a trailer for The West Wing and a newsflash. Don't forget the long loo break too.
BIG BOB FLAPPER You ought to get that seen to. I've tried. There's no help.
COLLEGE FUN
Here's what's happening right now in the common room:
- The canteen lady is ordering more buns and baps. (I know she's talking about food, but it's still scary).
- Someone is sleeping and about to fall off the seats they're sleeping on.
- My friend is going hormonal over an Italian footballer.
The Last Mouse On Earth
Buns and baps — how cheeky
THERE'S ENOUGH SAUSAGES THOUGH...
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
There was a poll conducted recently. 100 people were asked "Do you think society is more aggressive today?"
- 43% said Yes
- 23% said No
- 30% said Don't Know
- 4% said Get lost or I'll smash your face in
Justanothersillyname
Only 4%?
I DEMAND A RECOUNT. MUST BE MORE
SHOPPERS
When you go shopping, why is it that the people around you walk like they're in some sort of zombie trance? You can't get past them or anything.
Really makes you want to take a bazooka to them.
Napalm Nappy
Pram pushers are the most annoying
AND SHOPPING TROLLEYS. AARGH MOVE!
HARRY POTTER 5
Well, I queued to get this brick like book, and I find that it was naff.
OK, it's a good book, but deary me, Harry's gone hormonal!
There was not nearly enough of the gorgeously mean Professor Snape, and I didn't expect her to kill off... yeah, like I'd tell you that and face a lawsuit...
Local Person
The end was a bit of a let-down
BUT IT WAS A CHARACTER I LIKED
HOWDY DOODY
WLW, you said there was "no room at the table for newbies". And what of it? I LIKE sitting under the table anyway.
I'm gonna keep e-mailing you anyway! You can't make me go away, I tell you! You can't!
I'll be the one hiding in your garden wearing the pink balaclava, stalking you...
All my love,
Ruby Gloom
I only want you at my feet because
I LIKE A MASSAGE IN SUMMER
EARACHE
Someone was using a very powerful road drill in my road the other day. The noise was deafening, but nobody complained.
Then someone started playing Eminem at maximum volume and there were complaints about the noise from 23 people, including the fellow who was using the road drill.
Curable Romantic
Typical. It's like when people cut
THE GRASS AT 7AM ON A WEEKEND!
ARE YOU AN 'IT'?
In recent weeks I've been getting very muddled up. Just about every time I've gone out I've seen an 'it'.
An 'it', in case you don't know, is a human which looks like a guy but you can't be sure and usually turns out to be a girl.
Is WLW one of these? It would explain that long unanswered question of what you are.
Spiky Stuy
I don't even know myself when I wear
A DRESS WITH BIKER BOOTS AND BEARD
