Mega-Zine
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July 11—12, 2003

SOME RANDOM PIECE OF RANDOMNESS Wimples! Those black-and-white hats that nuns wear! Don't you think they're cool, WLW? I'd imagine they're quite hot in this sticky weather.

SPIKY STUY I was thinking of changing my name to Super Sexy Spiky Stuy. What do you think? No, that would be admitting your arrogance to everyone.

MERCY NUTS I've been away for a while on a biology field trip which was literally a field which I tripped on. Grass stains are such a pain.

 

PLOT HOLES, MAGIC STYLE

A quick fault I've noticed with many films and computer games. They go in a corner and hey look! I've found a new gun! Or I've found a new health-kit! A ladder! That'll be useful.

Yet they find this stuff in places like The Cave Of No Return. And they have a fully-drawn map.

So how do the people who've drawn the map know where everything is? Did a wizard do it?

A leprechaun called Steve

Gandalf is behind it all with

HIS MAGIC BEARD OF POWER

 

TOP FIVE PHRASES TO SHOUT AT COMPLETE STRANGERS

  1. Spanner-me-do, daddy!
  2. Monkey tennis.
  3. Shabba.
  4. Remember, you are not a salmon.
  5. Respect to the man in the ice-cream van"

Sometimes I wonder how I've managed to remain single all these years.

Samurai Hedgehog

That would explain why I can't swim

WELL. A GRIRAFFE, NOT A SALMON

 

POETRY CORNER

There once was a girl called Anne,
Who's poetry just would not scan.
When pointed out why,
She said with a sigh,
I know it's because I try to fit every last syllable on the last line that I possibly can!

1nd and 2th

In future, try writing a good poem

INSTEAD. SHORT AND SMART

 

CELEBRITY ANAGRAMS

  • Mariah Carey — Hairy Camera.
  • Nelly Furtado — Fully A Rodent.
  • Dane Bowers — Sew On Beard.
  • Nicole Kidman — I'm No Clean Kid.
  • Westlife — Wet Flies.

Emma-the-lil'Angel

No wonder Mariah only likes one side

OF HER FACE PHOTOGRAPHED

 

HANTUCHOVA

Daniela, Daniela I love you.
Your tennis playing exploits have given me something to do.
Your kind of looks are granted to few,
Although Anna Kournikova has them too.
Marry me please or I'll be forced to sue,
Because Daniela Hantuchova, how I love you.

Concrete Donkey

Tennis

LOAD OF BALLS

 

CORRECTION

Big Bob Flapper is labouring under a delusion. He seems to think that you have to be creative to get printed on here.

Nonsense. You just have to be related to WLW.

Isn't that so, Grandpa?

Curable Romantic

Grandpa?! How can someone sexless

HAVE KIDS, NEVER MIND GRANDKIDS

 

BROCCOLI

You hear many people talking about the vile taste of broccoli. Personally, I don't understand such criticism and do not believe all of these people have tried it. The taste is actually quite reasonable.

Only good things can come out of this vegetable. For example, you can pretend they're trees and you are a giant.

The Wonky Gnome

Broccoli is one of my favorite

VEGGIES. TOP TREES