The Mega-Zine Museum
June 29, 2003
XPHILE2868 (HE OF THE INTERNET) I thought I saw a member of Blazin' Squad but they went when I flushed the chain! Check under your bed for the other nine. They can't escape.
THE DELORIAN THAT GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING Well done WLW, you correctly guessed my fave film. You are God. Shucks. The compliments are McFlying.
POLLY STYRENE Your momma so fat that when her phone rings people think she's reversing. As long as she remembers to look in her mirror, that's fine.
MY LOVES
I would like to express my loves:
- Good Charlotte (not pop).
- Toast (buttery goodness).
- 'Ziners by the names of Tarantino Squirrel and Samurai Hedgehog (it's an animal thing I think).
Punk Kitty
Girls don't like boys or cars
JUST BOYS WITH MONEY
EXAM WORDS (WOO HOO)
It seems the gauntlet was thrown down.
Here is a list of words I got into EVERY exam: ergo, nightmarish, blunderbuss, fiendish, brigand, aplomb, exuberant and gusto.
And here's a list of other words that I got in: wangle, interracial, ubertronic, uber, thingermajacker, galvanise, heffalump.
The Cheshire Cat
I take it your were studying for your
OWLS AT HOGWARTS?
FIVE WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE
- Don't add inflections to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression you'll be saying more.
- Leave your turn signal on for miles.
- Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener that it was a "real hoot".
- Sing along at the opera.
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
Queen Niveus Of Coolhaven
Constantly bring up an embarrassing
MOMENT THEY'RE TRYING TO FORGET TOO
BOYS SUCK
They walk around acting like gangsters and wannabes when really they're all just sissies.
Also, they're all clueless to the fact that you like them, then stare in wonder when they realise.
Idiots.
Citizen Twiggy
They also never phone and usually cheat
NOT THAT GIRLS CAN BE MUCH BETTER
LYRICAL GENIUS
As we all know there are some fab songs out there, with extremely thought provoking and meaningful lyrics.
But I think Life, by Des'ree, tops every song there is with the totally awe-filled and inspiring line: "I'd rather have a piece of toast."
Gets me every time.
Wild Thang
Makes the Fast Food Rockers sound
LIKE SHAKESPEARE
A LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT...
I have got myself a 'Zine boyfriend and how wonderful he is too. His name is Farmer Jack.
I just want to thank 'Zine for making our relationship happen. I mean, if it weren't for you WLW, then we wouldn't even know each other.
And he doesn't even mind competing with Charlie either...
Emma-the-lil'-Angel
Are you helping him cultivate
HIS OWN SLUG BROWS?
MY FEET
Average people, I have put up with you lot long enough but this has to stop.
Why are all the clothes in the shops designed for 5'5", size 14s with size five feet?
I have the biggest feet of any woman I know (8). All the shop assistants tell me they don't have shoes in that size — before running off to snigger at me behind the shoe racks.
Loominous Froot
Sauce girl has big ones too
AND HER FEET AREN'T BAD EITHER
