Mega-Zine
Icon

June 30, 2003

MERCY NUTS Everyone says that Oasis are rubbish, but you know what, they are right. The clothes shop with the same name is more popular these days.

THE GEEK WHO SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH I, too, live in the northern part of London. It's on the end of the Northern Line and everything! Look out for Busted at the station.

BANNED AIDE My brother fancies Maureen off the Bounty adverts. Should I tell him? Wait until he starts eyeing up Lisa on Big Brother, then spill.

 

EXAMS

In response to the letter about things written in exams, I'd just like to tell y'all 'bout the wonderful phrase that is, "I am a fish".

I cunningly incorporated this into my A-level general studies exam following a Red Dwarf watching type agreement with a friend of mine.

Betcha can't beat that. Go on, I daresya.

The Man They Call Oz

Last one to do it

IS A WET HADDOCK

 

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR PAGE ONE

  • Today I found out something fascinating: Oxygen was invented in 1774. Wow. I wonder what people breathed before then. Bread maybe?
  • I see a new Smash Mouth album is out soon. Here's hoping it's more Fush Yu Mang than self-titled. I do love that album so.

The One True Mad Omen

It ain't no joke that SM made

JUST ONE GOOD SONG

 

HELLO AGAIN MY BEAUTIES, IS IT HAPPENING?

Hey, hey, hey! Put Mega-zine on today and saw a list of awards by Fibreglass Monkey. Looked at the awards and Best Newcomer was me!

I'd like to thank Fibreglass Monkey, my fans (?) and even Mr Teletext himself for making this possible.

Oh, and Freddie Mercury as well, because without his lyrics I would be nameless!

Mr Fahrenheit

Ahem, you forgot one other person

ME!

 

PHWOAR!

Have you seen the wonder that is Anna Ryder-Richardson? Not only is she sizzling hot and has a very good eye for interior decorating, but what else can she have in her design kit?

I was watching House Invaders and it was like, "well, the bookcase and bed were actually hidden in my design kit along with your new dining table, your new kitchen AND your new loft conversion".

She is one talented lady.

Greatness That Is Me

I need a new lamp

IS SHE BRIGHT ENOUGH FOR THAT?

 

EVIL TONGS

Why doesn't my master get printed anymore? Has he lost what very little wittiness he had or something? And why does no-one mention him in lists and things?

He's not too happy about that, he needs to feel loved. So unhappy is he, in fact, he's on the verge of using me to go on a 'Zinerland rampage.

So, he'd better get some recognition! Pronto!

Buzzcutter, Evil Tongs' Pet Chainsaw

If his letters heat up...

OTHERWISE HE CAN SIT ON THE BBQ

 

SOME AWESOME PETS

  • Crocodile
  • Piranha fish
  • Wolf
  • Pterodactyl
  • Martian
  • Hermit
  • Crab
  • Moths
  • Aardvark
  • Woodworm
  • Hawk
  • Dung beetle

Batman's Brother

I've always quite fancied an

IGUANA MYSELF. OR A FERRET

 

FIVE GREAT FACTS

  1. King of Hearts is the only king in a pack of cards minus creepy moustache.
  2. In Philadelphia, it's illegal to put pretzels in bags.
  3. Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.
  4. 2,500 left-handed people die each year from using right handed products.
  5. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21 inch tongue, but you already knew that, didn't you WLW?

Styluskid

Of course I knew No 5, but not 4

MUST BUY NEW SCISSORS