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March 23, 2003

PORTENTOUS CONSUL Remember WLW, you are not a salmon. No, I'd rather be a Kit Kat and eat my own fingers.

GENIUS AT WORK Alcohol is just like gravity; makes you fall over all the time. Profound. Sir Issac Newton's theories and I are good friends.

MOONFLOWER WLW, would you kindly spread me some Paul (off The Salon) on some toast, for I am hungered. Would you like extra grease on your plate, or is his hair gel enough?

 

FRASIER

On Frasier the other week, Roz dressed up as an elf at the mall and Frasier asked if she had "low elf esteem".

Hehehe — that Frasier cracks me up.

Tarantino Squirrel

Is that show still on air?

YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE

 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WLW, not only did Cerys Matthews go to the wedding in a tractor, it was my great uncle's tractor, and my great cousin who drove it.

I know the man who runs the pub where they had their reception too. Yes yes.

And WLW, if you look reeeeeeeeally closely, your name looks like a face... or is that just me?

Rebel Fairy

Why didn't you say before?

YOU COULD HAVE HELPED ME MOVE HOUSE

 

YOU MENTION ME, I'LL MENTION YOU

Deshman, you're great,
Deshman, you're my mate,
Deshman, you're a star,
Deshman, you're from afar.

Poetry doesn't get much better than this, does it WLW?

Purple Punk

No-one likes a suck-up you know

LEAST OF ALL ME

 

DJ DAVE, I DEMAND AN APOLOGY

DJ Dave's stereotyping of metal fans was utterly disgraceful. We aren't all the "twassocks" that you describe. Some of us are, but not all of us.

Those weird individuals are wannabes who think they're making a statement by dressing like idiots.

I am a metal fan and always will be but I don't dress like System Of A Down.

Sykopathik Mushroom

If you listen to that tripe you

SHALL BE BRANDED A TROUT

 

MEET ANATHEMA

Name:Anathema
Years Reading 'Zine:Three
'Zine's Good Cause:It saved me from trendyism!
Appearance:Mopheaded evil genius in dufflecoat.
Briggie Debate Position:Sitting on the fence.
Favourite Word:Necrosis.

Anathema

Doesn't your bum hurt after

THREE YEARS ON A FENCE?

 

DO YOU LIKE...

WLW, so often people write to 'Zine talking about themselves. You need to be asked more questions. Not of the gay giraffe kind. We know that answer!

  1. How many Jaffa Cakes before you're sick?
  2. Dry roasted or salted?
  3. Gentle or rough?

The Waltzing Dancer from Dover

I feel really rough after mixing

MY JAFFAS AND NUTS UP

 

REASONS WHY I HATE KYLIE MINOGUE

  1. Her goaty face and horsey teeth.
  2. Her tiresome backside flashing.
  3. She tries to act like a 'cute little girl' when she's practically middle-aged.

Peter Pinsent

Look on the bright side

SHE'S NOT GERI HALLIWELL