Mega-Zine
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March 20, 2003

DARK GREY WOLF OF NORBEX No-one knows my true identity. Living up a mountain sure is lonely. Your letters take ages to reach us as well.

FRANK N FURTER'S BRIDE Yesterday, I was asked what my earliest memory was. I forgot it. Mine was the fire bridge being called out.

DAVE THE RAVE Comment vas-tu au college, WLW? And, more importantly, can you do the accent? That's the job of my monkey Marcel. I only talk to myself on a Thursday.

 

THE LAST MOUSE ON EARTH

How can you say that Yugioh cards are evil? I've been collecting them for a couple of weeks now, and they are much better then Pokemon cards!

OK, I'll admit it, I've got about 600 Pokemon cards, but that isn't the point!

The point is, Yugioh is a million times better than Pokemon. So there.

DigiDudette

The only cards worth anything are the

GOOD ONES IN A CASINO

 

BALLOON

Charge a balloon with static electricity, then hold it next to a thin stream of water. As if by magic, the water bends towards a balloon.

How far can you make the stream bend? The electric field around the balloon pulls things towards it.

Or you could stick it over your head and get a great afro!

No deseo ser lechero mas

Stick a river over your head?

NOT IF YOU CAN'T SWIM WELL

 

COVERED

Gareth Gates has got it covered:

I was in Sainsburys today looking at the magazines, when all of a sudden my manufactured pop-loving friend said: "Gareth Gates covered in baked beans!"

I turned round and said: "In Baked Beans? Never heard of it. Who was it by originally, then?"

DJ Dave

Almost as funny as them

BAKED BEAN FLAVOUR CRISPS

 

WESTWOOD

This man is a comedy genius.

Who else can say: "Damn that felt good!" with as much distortion as he? Who can make: "Get in a taxi and go home!" sound quite so menacing?

I think all must agree that this Saturday night genius is more fun than a wheelbarrow full of monkeys.

Optional Dictator

I quite like taking walks in the

SOUTH OF THE WOOD WITH MY MONKEY

 

HUSBAND WANTED

I need help. I am a Russian bride yet I have no English man to marry me. I wondered, WLW, if you would help me by showing my advert:

'Russian bride ready to be wed by English man. Brunette, 10 toes, eight fingers and two thumbs, cannot cook, but should not be a problem as knows the pizza number.'

Katinka Milosovich, the Russian Bride

It'll be well cold coming from

RUSSIA TO ENGLAND THOUGH LOVIE

 

WORST NAMES FOR A BABY

  1. Nigel
  2. Percival
  3. Maud
  4. Roger
  5. Stacy
  6. Horace
  7. Norris
  8. Norma
  9. Theodore
  10. Maxwell

Ayatollah Of Rock And Roll-a

Excellent choices for

A DOG HOWEVER

 

THE BRIGADIER

It is my belief that this old codger is getting far too much attention. He must be the most oft-mentioned Ziner there is, and for what reason? His letters are neither interesting nor funny.

So why does everyone have to talk about him? I don't. This will be my last ever e-mail on the subject of this smelly old man.

The 12th Lemon

How do you know he's smelly?

BEEN ROUND FOR TEA AND FANCIES?!