Mega-Zine
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February 27, 2003

CUIDADO LLAMA WLW, this is an ex-parrot. Budgies are much more chirpy and cheep.

EVIL TONGS It's the early bird that gets the worm, but the second mouse that gets the cheese. But I got the bacon and eggs. Nah, nah, nah, nah.

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK So Mr Brigadier, With all that massive volume of port that you consume, you are so drunk you can't even control your own eyebrows! And he thinks the twitching left eye impresses the women.

 

FELLOW 'ZINERS

I feel it is time to declare the greatest 'Ziner name ever. I have whittled it down to the following candidates:

  • Hairy Mary
  • My Nose Hurts
  • Muh... Buh
  • Parsley Possum
  • Mike

I think you will agree, Mike is the clear winner by far.

Endless, Nameless

Phoebe from Friends

IS BACKING HIM TOO

 

INVISIBLENESS

A short list of things to do when invisible...

  1. Lie on the floor and trip people up.
  2. Whisper in their ear and then watch as they go insane.
  3. Push things off shelves in shops and watch as someone tries to say they never touched a thing.
  4. Walk around with a hat on and watch people's amazement as they see a floating hat.

Boogles the Girafadile

Sneak into Spurs dressing room and fill

THEIR BOOTS WITH ITCHING POWDER

 

TINY PLANETS

I too have seen this programme (and yes, I can sing the whole theme tune).

It's such a cool programme, but how come Bing and Bong never visit Earth?

For some reason it just doesn't beat the Hoobs, though.

The Spontaneous Combusting Penguin

The Hoobs really put me in a morning

BAD MOOD WITH THEIR SQUEALING

 

APOLOGY

I'm sorry, I'm going to use the national popularity of 'Zine to make a full and humble apology to my beautiful better half Cariss for behaving like a muppet in JBs in Dudley the other night.

A combination of alcohol and a foul mood got the better of me so I apologise. Am I forgiven?

Come on, WLW, help me out — this girl's fantastic!

Fluffy the Evil One

Oooh, someone's in love. Urgh

I'M NO DATING AGENCY

 

COURSEWORK

This is so frustrating! You go through Year 11 with a steady amount of course work and then suddenly, from absolutely nowhere, the deadline for every piece is due in on Friday.

Oh WLW, I need TLC! Print me and speak to me before I turn to B*ckch*tters for support.

I'll do it! Believe me, I'm deadly serious!

Pippypea

I'm glad I'm not what you

GO TO SCHOOL FOR

 

WHO'S THAT?

With all that Valentine's stuff, I realised something. It's a day owned by someone called Valentine. Who is that? And why does he/she own Feb 14?

You see that ickle ' between the "e" and the "s" means it's someone's.

So again I ask who's Valentine? The closest I can find is that chap in the Bond films. Y'know, the fat Russian guy.

Maybe I'm looking too much into it.

The One True Mad Omen

He's someone with a heart made out of

CARDS AND CHOCOLATE. WEIRDO

 

NEW GUY ALERT

During the time that I have been reading these hallowed pages, I think I may have fallen in love with one of you. I wanna keep it a secret so you have something else to write in about other than stupid lists and fine poetry.

No, actually, I'm just gonna tell you. Dimgirl (From The Molehole), how about marrying me?...

Do you think I'm too forward, WLW?

Danus the Skankus

How come everyone's getting love

EXCEPT FOR ME?!