The Mega-Zine Museum
February 21—22, 2003
INSANE GEEZER You pick on potatoes, you pick on me. But are you as tasty fried with salt and vinegar and ketchup?
STELLA'S SOULMATE Dear WLW'll fix it: Please mend my teddy bear, or make my life-long ambition with regards to Gerrard happen. I'll look out for my sewing kit, but beware, it's been a while.
THE PUPPETEER THAT MADE AVRIL The ickle title at the top which determines what one is going to talk about, do I make that up? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes I can't be bothered.
WEATHER GIRLS
I just have to share with the world that the weather girl who wears the lovely colourful hair clips on BBC Breakfast always gives a bright start to the day, whatever the weather.
Have you ever seen a more beautiful weather girl, WLW?
Yours sincerely,
King of the Telegraph Poles
I've been noticing Andrea on GMTV's
'SUDDEN' HAIR GROWTH
STRUCK DUMB
Early this morning at the brink of dawn, in maths, my friend said something to me which actually made me shut up, for once:
"Life can be like a yo-yo, your emotions go up and down, 'til the string breaks, and you are left alone, separated from your own being."
She could have just bought me a gag to shut me up!
Headless Chicken Nugget
If she was as good at maths
YOU COULD COPY HER HOMEWORK TOO
AHEM
Yeah, so, anyway, I said to this bloke, I said: "Oi! If you don't get off my land, I'll set the dragons on you."
I think he must have realised that, like eskimos, dragons don't exist, because within seconds he'd half-inched my combine harvester.
Farmer Jack
Maybe the thought of a burning tail
JUST EXCITED HIM...
A THEORY
Forgive me if another 'Ziner has already put this theory forward (in fact I think someone probably has) but I have an idea about the identity of The Brigadier.
I think it is more than likely that The Brigadier also goes by the name of Dr Nick! Just think about it — they are both old, boring and have no apparent social skills.
Am I right or am I right?
Kleenex the Cop
If that's the case, he's in my office!
I'M HANDING IN MY NOTICE TOMORROW
MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT
Well, WLW, as it appears you missed my 17th birthday last month, I have here a list of presents I would like (better late than never):
- The destruction of B*ckch*t.
- A bed on wheels with a motor.
- Trent Reznor to finish the Tapeworm project.
- A year's supply of Revels.
Mr Self Destruct
I did plan to post the Revels, but
I RAN OUT OF STAMPS. *SLURP*
GHOSTS!
That's reet. Ghosts. They've infested my fridge and have a habit of chucking stuff at me when I open it.
Last night it was an entire cow, ready for mincing, and that sure smarts.
So who am I gonna call? Alas not Ghostbusters.
The One True Mad Omen
Trust Bill Murray to have retired
WHEN YOU NEED HIM MOST
HOW TO CALL JAMES BOND STUPID — AND GET AWAY WITH IT
- After calling Bond, replace the air canister in a self-inflating life boat with a helium canister.
- Allow Bond into your hide-out.
- Shoot him in the thigh with a crossbow.
- Use your self-inflating life boat.
- Float away to safety.
It really works — but they'll never make a flim of it.
Mad Doctor Zovirax
You'd make more money flogging
HIS PHONE NUMBER IF YOU HAD IT
