The Mega-Zine Museum
February 3, 2003
THE SOULSHAKER WLW, fancy larging it up in Ibiza with me, Julesy, Sasha and Blocko? Nah, you're alright. I'm off to Devon this weekend to make custard.
STELLA'S SOULMATE Why do people who have a brush with death say: "Well, that was lucky, then"? If they're alive then they're DEAD lucky — geddit?
GENIUS AT WORK To whoever, I'm organising a very exclusive party at my place. Everyone is invited. I'll press my best party outfit right now.
JADE THE GENIUS
Jade Goody goes to the doctor.
"Doctor," says Jade, "I don't feel so good".
"Let's have a look at you," says the doctor. "Congratulations are in order — you're pregnant".
"What?" shouts Jade, "Are you sure it's mine?"
Actionjackson 2sheds
PJ said the same thing when he
LOOKED UNDER THE COVERS
THE MIND BOGGLES
The other day I was informed by a very reliable source that you can get arrested for talking online about killing Tony Blair.
If the same rule applies to television and/or Teletext, could I be arrested for talking about talking about killing Tony Blair?
Hmmmmmm... the mind boggles...
Celestial Nobody
Pack a bag. The police are about to
KNOCK AT YOUR DOOR ANY MINUTE
HOBNOBS TAKE THE BISCUIT
Aren't chocolate-covered Hobnobs just the God of all foods?
I mean, not only do they have a name that could keep you in hysterics for hours over what it really means, but they taste so darn good! Especially with a nice cuppa!
The Sleeping Fish
Dunked in coffee 'til they're soggy...
MMMM. DAVORD — GET TO THE SHOPS!
WRONG-CHUI
I was talking to the master of wrong-chui the other day. While buttering a Pringles tube, he looks at me and says: "Life is like a shoe. The heel is your past, the toe-end is your future, and the laces are what tie the past and future together."
I said: "What about slippers, then?" and he promptly slapped me round the face.
The Fifth Bulldog
Glass slippers and Pringles...
DON'T TREAD THEM INTO THE CARPET
RANDOM OBSERVATIONS
WLW, have you ever noticed how TV people (that's people that live in your TV) never fill their cereal bowls very much?
Myself, I like to defy the laws of physics when trying to cram some Frosties in my bowl, and get as much in there as possible, while these TV people put in about half a Weetabix.
I just find it odd, 'tis all.
The Observationist
Would YOU eat anything from
PHIL MITCHELL'S KITCHEN?!
TOP THREE CHEESES
- Red Leicester — goes great melted on toast
- Edam — is 'made' backwards
- Good old cheddar — personal favourite of most people. Sadly didn't make number 1, as it is like The Brigadier — old and foolish.
I would also like to add that cheese with the holes in, so there.
Deshman
Oh dear. I must be like Briggie too
FOR I'M HAVING CHEDDAR AT LUNCH!
WHAT IF...
Someone says to you "are you saying no to me?".
If you say "no" then that means you have and you should have said "yes". But wouldn't that mean you wouldn't have said "no" and your answer should be "no"?
But then wouldn't that mean you are saying "no" and your answer should be "yes"? But wouldn't that mean...
Gnuffo1
I knew I should have stayed in
BED THIS MORNING
