The Mega-Zine Museum
January 19, 2003
THE SOULSHAKER How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Dunno. You should just ask Jenny from the Block.
CRINKLE-CUT BEATROOT Think of a number, WLW. Okay, is it 9,758,261.78? It is, isn't it? Yes! Wow, how did you know? Genius never fails to amaze me.
THE PINK POODLE The poodles have landed, and will soon take over. Quick, Mavis, run. Last time she met one of those she nearly had kittens.
A QUESTION
One question and one question only will determine if WLW is, in fact, male or female:
Do you eat Yorkie bars?
Phoenix From The Flames
Send me some and
THEN I'LL MAKE MY DECISION
BOYS
Why are boys like buses?
No-one fancies you for ages, and then, as if by magic, everyone decides you are the most beautiful creature on the planet and gets jealous if you so much as look at another boy.
It's hard being fancied, isn't it? I don't know how I'd cope if this happened to me more often than once a decade!
Haribo Girli
I feel your pain. No really.
VALENTINE'S WILL BE A STRUGGLE
MEGA ZINE
I love rock and roll,
I wish that Spears would go AWOL,
I love rock and roll,
Do cover her head now with a bowl!
Yeah, and the rest — 'cos there's worse out there ya know...
Lucozade (on the prowl again) Lover
Seen that new Justin Timberlake video?
HE'S GOING TO BE HIT ONE MORE TIME!
WLW
Are we all expected to believe that you work six days a week, 52 weeks a year solely producing Zine?
Also, do you never take a holiday? Are we at times fooled by a stand-in WLW? Are you, Dr Nick and Bamber Boozle all the one person?
I smell a conspiracy to corrupt our innocent minds. I will not rest until this matter is solved.
Detective Squirrel
Nick would love to be me
I'M MUCH BETTER LOOKING
BANG!
...And when no-one was looking, he exploded!
Just like that!
People spontaneously combust all the time. It's just not widely reported, you know.
Rusti the vampire squirrel
If you eat too many bananas
I BELIEVE IS THE CAUSE
CUCUMBER
Hello, fellow steeds. I am a first time Ziner and am nervous but shall proceed.
I would just like to inform you all, (including you, WLW, you witty ruler) that there is a cucumber outside my house.
How it got there I don't know. But I kind of like it. It adds charisma to my front garden. Let's hope it is there for eternity.
Imbecilic Dude
Will start to smell rancid
DURING ETERNITY. JUST A GUESS MIND
A FISH
I am a fish, oh yes, it's true,
I swim around with nothing to do,
I must be careful not to get a hook in my eye,
If I did I think I would cry,
I am a fish, oh yes it's true,
I blub and blub with nothing to do.
Jingle the fish
Fancy coming round to my plaice?
I'LL DO YOU CHIPS AND MUSHY PEAS!
