The Mega-Zine Museum

January 21, 2003

THE BRIGADIER Does anyone have my pipe? Is that what you put in the envelope? I thought it was for my ear wax.

SIR WHENCE PITCHFORD? What exactly is a number? It doesn't exist anywhere... Does this prove that maths is pointless? Been saying that for years.

AN SEINEM GESICHT KLEBT ZAHNPASTA BASS I had the most frightening dream! Oh it was horrid! Can I sleep in your bed tonight, please WLW? If you can put up with my snoring and Mavis purring...

JUNK MAIL

This is what the internet thinks a 15-year-old guy needs:

• A house
• A new mortgage for the house
• A new car
• Debt management training

Are they implying something about my future?

A leprechaun called Steve

I predict your future will

BE GREEN

HERE'S SOME GREAT PEOPLE

Even though Farmer Jack did a list that I agree wholeheartedly with, I'd like to change it completely:

• Johnny Vegas (funniest guy on the planet)
• Dave Grohl (musical genius)
• Homer Simpson (cartoon character)
• S Club Juniors
• Jaffa cakes

OK, so I ran out of ideas after the first three.

Random Shop

I have an idea about Jaffa Cakes...

OH, I'VE EATEN THE BOXFUL ALREADY

HI THERE, WLW

Hi, I'm a new 'Ziner, so I thought I would write in with a list of not very interesting facts about me:

1. I like Jaffa Cakes.
2. I don't like Avril Lavigne, prefer Oasis 'n' Manics.
3. I like pigeons — they mosh when they walk.
4. I come from a tinpot town in the North East called Stanley, and it was so bad, I moved to Stoke-on-Trent!

Helga The Viking

You are most welcome to join us

WHEN YOU REALISE OASIS ARE RUBBISH

END OF EXAMS

In honour of the fact that I had my last mock exam today, I thought I would do my entire e-mail in German!

Hallo, Ich komme aus West Mittelengland, Sedgley... well, you get the idea and my heart was in the right place.

Yay! Go me! Got an A in Art, Graphics, RE... etc.

Auf Wiedersehen!

The Sleeping Fish

Well done Sleeping Fish

FROM THE WEST MIDLANDS

MY POETRY SUCKS

Why I don't write poetry...

There was a young nugget from Crawley
Who was unfortunately totally headless
She got things confused
And got all bemused
And went and got completely legless

Headless Chicken Nugget

Sounds like Mabel Mop when she's been

AT THE CLEANING FLUID

ENGLAND V SCOTLAND

Which is better?

The Fifth Bulldog

Mavis and I are Scottish

SO DO YOUR OWN CALCULATIONS

WHY?

I sat there, the tension built, I heard the words I wanted to hear for over a year:

"You're moving down a set in French."

Finally! I think it was my 3 Us and filling a whole page in my exam with jokes which clinched it.

Sam Got A Snorkel

You could always get a job with Glug

EVEN IF IT'S NOT IN FRANCE

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