The Mega-Zine Museum
December 31, 2002—January 1, 2003
GERTY AND HER ONIONS Today, I learnt how to cook potatoes. So proud. Well done you! Adding hot water to the packet wasn't rocket science, was it?
FIBREGLASS MONKEY Memo to self — never use spaghetti as bungee rope again. Did it say you could on the packet? You could sue, I reckon.
OUTCAST ZERO I've done it — I've invented the first ever biplane that flies solely on compost! How thoroughly awe-inspiring and yet... quite useless.
THINGS TO DO ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT
Part Two:
Why not amuse your friends by covertly including the acronym DVD into appropriate conversation, ie: "I'm getting a DVD for Christmas." However, you say DVD in an Australian accent, so it sounds like "day-vay-day".
When your friends point out that you sound Australian, you deny it.
Rude Boy and Smashed Strawberry
Hector's House
I can see great amusement here —
BUT POSSIBLY ONLY FOR A FEW MINUTES
JUST A THEORY
The other day I was holding my baby brother and I noticed that he smelled like Johnson's baby oil. I asked my mother if she had put some on him. When she said no, I came to the conclusion that Johnson's squeezes babies to make baby oil!
The Psychotic Lab Rat
I think they all smell like that —
IT'S LIKE PART OF THE WHOLE BABY GIG
FACE/OFF
Somebody once said that one ought to look behind a man's face, in order to see into his heart.
It's a nice sentiment, but it won't help you pass any exams on anatomy.
The Psychedelic Gloom
Oh, how we've missed your
WISE WORDS ON HERE, GLOOMY
OLD 'ZINERS
Whatever happened to Parsley Possum? I remember when he was THE 'Ziner! He was magnificent.
Also, where's 1929 got to? I remember his stories about... erm... stuff. It's just not the same without them.
Squidgy Lobster
(with chips and peas)
They've obviously graduated to the
MATURER SHORES OF... DUNNO, SAUCE?
WREATHS
What is it about Christmas wreaths? Why do we hang them on our doors year after year? I thought wreaths were associated with all things deathly, like remembrance or funerals?
Is it something to do with the death of Christ? Am I getting too morbid? OK then... cheery thoughts.
The Demon Llama
Think the Christ thing is Easter...
MAYBE A BLACK EASTER EGG IS IN ORDER
5 USES FOR THE MOST USELESS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS EVER... No 1 — SLIPPERS
- Novelty Christmas tree decorations
- Heated mince pie holders for those unexpected guests
- New food bowl for Mavis
- Easier to use oven gloves
- Ear muffs for Granny WLW
Next week... handkerchiefs.
Ruby Slippers
Don't get me started on handkerchiefs —
LIKE I NEED ANY MORE?
HOWDY EVERYONE!
A lovely poem — ahem:
Peas, peas,
I love them all
Green, squishy, round and small
They roll around on my plate
These little fellas make the nation great
Could you possibly draw me a pea?
Gothic Fairy
How could I not after this masterpiece?
WELL, QUITE EASILY REALLY...
