Mega-Zine Museum: Letters

December 19, 2002

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK If Steps were a company, they wouldn't have split — they'd just have been downsized. They did, with that H and Claire business.

DJ DAVE Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can HOE HOE HOE! Sit down before you hurt yourself.

SYKOPATHIK MUSHROOM Hi, is this the right address? For Mega-zine, yes. For the Cheeky Chopstick Chinese Dining Emporium, no. Ooooh, suddenly, I feel very hungry.

WLW

I see that your towers are in Fulham and I think this is an outrage and an abuse of your human rights. WLW Towers must be moved to Glastonbury, next to my house, because:

We have a festival
We have lots of alternative shops
We have many, many public phones
Best of all, we have me, and soon to be... you

The "Tranchinator"

I'm not sure the countryside is ready

FOR DAVORD'S UNSAVOURY HABITS

POETRY CORNER IS HOPELESS!

Whoever told you you are good poets must never have heard of William Wordsworth, a genius. I mean, "I've measured it from side to side, it's two feet long and three feet wide" is a classic line. Or not...

And WLW, see if I were to put a swear word here, would it be printed? Would it be starred out like ****? Or binned?

That's nice. Bye bye people.

The One Who Sealed Your Fate

I don't think that anyone

EVER SAID WE WERE GOOD POETS

WLW

Is there a waiting list to print letters? It's just it always takes AGES for you to print my letters.

Not that I'm complaining, of course. I mean, it's your Teletext page and all. Sorry I spoke.

Blonde Butterfly

I have sooooo many e-mails to sort —

MY PC HAS A VIRTUAL HERNIA

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A TEACHER:

And I thought I was thick
Is that a toupee?
I guess you're not getting paid much by the state of your car
Sorry sir/miss, I only dropped off for a minute

So, what were you like at school, WLW, a rebel? Or a goody two-shoes?

Wild Thang

Really popular, everyone loved me —

THEN I WOKE UP

MOST MISSED...

Parsley Possum
Hairey Jezza
Milton And Me
Le Enfant Terrible
Miss World
Black Widow
Gutless Wonder
Outcast
Negative Creep
Broccoli The Evil One

It's not as good without them.

Fluffy The Evil One

Wherever they are,

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL

TELETEXT ADVENT CALENDAR

Now, really, what is this all about? It's hidden away on p403 but I can't believe there's anyone who'd rather 'press reveal' than open the window on a real advent calendar, thus revealing the chocolately goodness within.

On top of this, today's calendar revealed a weird blue... well... creature that might have been a donkey, but then again, it could have been just about anything!

Insane Jam Sow

That creature was one of the wise men!

BLUE DONKEY INDEED

'ZINERS

Since the beginning of time, man has asked the eternal question: Which pie is the best?

Well, we turn to you, WLW, to give us the answer.

Rusti the Vampire Squirrel

Man should have come to me in the

FIRST PLACE — CHICKEN AND LEEK

Back