The Mega-Zine Museum
November 22—23, 2002
SPAM GOBLIN I hate the smell of wet dogs. Do you smell like a wet dog, WLW? It's been said.
SAMURAI HEDGEHOG Looking good, WLW. I reckon the ginger mullet goes perfectly with the pink jumpsuit. Get out of my garden before I call the police!
THE YOUNG UPSTART What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? Depends. If you're doing, say, an Oasis number then it'll probably sound IN tune.
THESE JUST DON'T MIX
- Humans and hungry lions
- Humans and Hanson
- Humans and falling pianos
- Humans and long pointy spikes
- Humans and broken parachutes
Purple Punk
Humans and gloss paint! Believe me —
I'VE BEEN DOING UP THE TOWERS
'ZINERS
The other day when I switched on the TV, a programme called RI:SE was on.
One of the guests was Rachel from S Club, and she was talking about the film S Club are making! A film? This means S Club are gonna be blown up on to a huge screen. Imagine the size of Jon's head!
But it gets worse. They are going to be cloned in the movie. Cloned!
I feel faint, WLW.
The Wasted Circle
You would think they might have learnt
A THING OR TWO FROM SPICEWORLD!
AUNT BESSIES!
As a proud Yorkshirewoman, I am deeply offended by this foul piece of propaganda. Do people really think that us Yorkshire folk talk like that?
I mean, the guy who says, "Ow doo y'make Yorksha puddinz?" is not even close. The diction, emphasis and style are all wrong.
It's an outrage!
Spandorexxa
Granny WLW is particularly perturbed at
THE THOUGHT OF PACKET YORKSHIRES
THINGS PEOPLE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND
Cucumbers! Just what are they? Big, long, waxy and green. Was God joking when He made them?
Do grocers merely laugh when we buy them? Why?
Sir Whence Pitchfork
Essential ingredient in
CUCUMBER SANDWICHES, I'M AFRAID
THE END OF THE WORLD IS INDEED NIGH!
For today I had but one blue Smartie in my Smarties tube. Noooooooooooo!
Blue Smarties are the food of the Gods. How could there be only one.
I blame the weird maroon-type Smarties for taking over. They are evil, I swear.
The 12th Lemon
SAVE THE BLUE SMARTIE!
I'm still recovering from the demise of
THE ORANGE KIT-KAT
GREAT ONE-LINERS
- Take my wife, please. I take my wife everywhere but she finds her way home.
- A girl I met had very affectionate eyes, they kept looking at each other.
- A man walked into a bar and said... "ouch".
I am but a comedy genius, don't you think, WLW?
Syfanatic
There's definitely a guest spot for you
ON THE NEXT BRIAN CONLEY SHOW
HRUMPH!
Well, I must categorically state that I am abundantly disgruntled at this new colour scheme.
Uninviting, charmless and cold colours bring a chill wind to this section. Previously it was imbued with attractive and welcoming colour palettes.
Back to the enchanting hues please — not the frigid ones.
The Brigadier
OK, I've taken out the big words and,
BASICALLY, HE'S NOT A HAPPY BUNNY
