Mega-Zine
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November 18, 2002

THE PURPLE FROG When the Teletext pages change, where can we send our thought-provoking e-mails to? A spanking new e-mail addy: mega-zine@teletext.co.uk

GENIUS AT WORK WLW, fancy a schlomp? That's very kind of you, two sugars. It's time to live... unlimited!

PURPLE PUNK In the 'Zine Graveyard lies the unattended grave of Fluffy the Evil One. Next to him, Parsley Possum. What is wrong with you people? We can't forget the good old days. No indeed.

 

ENOUGH!

No more letters about Avril Lavigne!

If you insist on bombarding us poor non-believers with much more, it will have the adverse effect and we'll hate her... no, we'll DETEST her. We'll detest her more than we already do!

Yeah, and uh... Michelle Branch is way better anyway.

The Girl

Does Michelle Branch log on

TO THE INTERNET? JUST A THOUGHT...

 

MY NEW JOB

Yep, I'm now employed again. I now spend my days deep-frying chips and burgers, so I come home reeking of grease.

I work with a townie named Merci and a weird, fish-eyed, toothless woman called Judy. Oh, and a boy who always has a rollie hanging from his mouth, even when he's cooking.

So, fancy some chips?

The Little Silver Moonbaby

You know what?

I'LL PASS

 

THE YORKIE BAR KID

Why thank you for your kind letter. 'Twas nice to know that there are some nice guys out there, especially after so many nasty ones make themselves known.

My faith in humanity is now restored.

Lola The Cheerful Showgirl

The Yorkie Bar Kid —

NOT FOR GIRLS

 

A POEM ABOUT MY TOWN

Hexham is the place to be,
whether boy or girl, cat or tree.
Hexham is just where it's at,
even if you wear a hat.

Hexham's church, it has a steeple,
does this attract the old people?
Hexham, I think about you daily,
but your Co-op underpays me.

=NiLiD=

I think I've been there! No wait...

THAT WAS WREXHAM — SORRY

 

MY FAVOURITE WOMEN FOR NO APPARENT REASON:

  1. Hilary Woods from JJ72
  2. Alyson Hannigan
  3. Charlotte Hatherley from Ash
  4. Michelle Branch
  5. PJ Harvey

I just have a thing about older women is all.

Mr Robofish

Then you missed the Queen,

JOAN COLLINS AND CHER

 

ITV1's MR RIGHT

Picture the scene: 10 obsequious, subservient personality-free women fawning over a man with the charisma of Mr Potato Head. Hardly a solid basis for a relationship, is it?

I hate the way the women pretend to be all friendly and lovely, but we know the claws are out. Meow!

Spam Goblin

And anyone else see the irony in

ULRIKA JONSSON HOSTING THAT SHOW?

 

KILLER GRANNIES

I have just seen the weirdest thing ever — an ancient woman with a tartan shopping trolley apparently mugging a guy in a leather jacket with a mohican. I'm not kidding, in broad daylight!

Obviously it is not safe to walk the streets of Walthamstow with these killer grannies around. Only Superman can save us now?

Bob Snitchet

I don't think it was ever safe

TO WALK THE STREETS OF WALTHAMSTOW