The Mega-Zine Museum

November 15, 2002

GENIUS AT WORK WLW, you've got a bit of chocolate around your mouth. That'll teach me to eat a sneaky peanut Boost.

THE DESPOTIC BANANA How many ants does it take to fill a building? Ten ants! Thank you, I'm here all week. Then I shall be somewhere else!

ANXIOUS AARDVARK WLW, what's your flava? Please tell me it's not bacon? It's not bacon. It's sorta chocolate orange with a hint of liver. And no, I'm not pregnant, just a bit odd.

MY GENDER

For an age you 'Ziners have been trying to discover WLW's gender and never has he/she divulged the info. So I'm going to give you a new person to harass now because it's time to play... "Guess My Gender"!

Actually, let's not bother with that, I'm a bloke.

See, WLW? It's easy. Just let it all out.

The Way And The Light

I'll let you into a secret. Actually,

SECOND THOUGHTS, NO I WON'T

ANTS

A while back someone, Super Nintendo Chalmers I think it was, said that ants taste like sweet tarts. Not in my garden they don't. So sour they'll make your knees buckle.

Anyone else bought Delia's new book?

Purple Punk

Why? Is she doing stuff with grubs now?

SLUG AND KIDNEY PUD? ANT SORBET?

I WANT YOU!

For the Anti-Pigeon League. Join with me and my associates in the battle for pigeon-free shop fronts and emancipated monuments.

One of their number tried to dive-bomb me in the street the other day. Again.

That was their pigeon ambassador, throwing down the gauntlet. A very disgusting gauntlet, all over my sweater. But I hold my head high.

I say to you again, STOP THE PIGEON!

Ammopogo

Wouldn't hold yer head up too high —

COULD GET ONE IN THE EYE!

FIVE COMEDY GREATS

1. Robin Williams (not Robbie)
2. Peter Kay
3. Jasper Carrot
4. Billy Connolly
5. Me, I'm great and know a couple of jokes

What d'ya think, WLW?

Syfanatic

Depends —

HOW GOOD ARE YOUR JOKES?

'ZINERS

Down here in Devon, there is a song from a window company which I think you will all agree is a classic:

"Who can fix your windows? Make them more secure?
Keeping out the rain, never need to paint again...
THE LAUNA MAN CAN!"

Surely this could be a chart topper if covered by Will or Gareth?

Sam Got A Snorkel

It's not often I realise how lucky

I AM THAT WLW TOWERS IS IN LONDON

WLW

My humble addition to Poetry Corner:

Christmas is coming
The goose is getting fat
Please put as much money as you can in my bank account
So that I can buy the goose and enjoy a delicious Christmas dinner

I thank you.

Insomniac Tapeworm

This differs slightly from the version

GRANNY WLW USED TO SING TO ME!

TRUE OR FALSE?

• Chocolate doesn't compare to a nice carrot.
• LCFC did not deserve to be relegated.
• Maths is fun.
• Avril Lavigne writes her own songs.
• And, in light of WLW's recent comment, I work in Top Shop!

TheUnitedTruth

Let's see — True, false, deffo false,

FALSE AND OBVIOUSLY TRUE... YEAH?

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