The Mega-Zine Museum

November 11, 2002

SATAN'S RUBBER DUCK You know your dad is going deaf when he confuses the word "vampire" with the word "umpire". Just a slight difference there. Fangs for that... aha ha ha ha... please yerself.

ELUSIVE ILLUSIONIST Oops, sorry, I thought this was the queue for the ice creams. You wanna flake with that?

GREEN GLUE I am considering chewicide. The delicious taste of Chewits is to die for! Available in all good shops. Not true. Not in my local Argos, matey.

E-MAIL ADDRESS ISSUES

WLW, how do you know which mails are for the rest of townified Club 140 and which mails are for 'Zine? I agree that most 'Zine mails are obvious, but what about Dr Nick?

Ever put a 'Zine letter on Angst by mistake? "Ever since my pilchard died, I've been so empty...", or vice versa?

I say 'Zine needs an address of its own. The last thing we need is a mix-up where Dr Nick is guest editing on here.

Ammopogo

Sorta like Iambonkers@wlwtowers.com?

I'LL WORK ON IT FOR YOU

TALKING BUSINESS

Is 'Zine a company? If so are we, humble 'Ziners, all shareholders?

In which case, I would like to know when the AGM is and why haven't I received my dividend payment yet?

When's the office party and can I get drunk? Can I have a pay rise?

Genius at Work

The AGM is at WLW Villas... in Jamaica.

SEE YOU THERE, OR NOT, WHATEVER

TODAY IS NOT MY DAY

Today, I did the following:

• Impaled my foot on my hairbrush when getting out of bed.
• Accidently drank dandelion and bleugh-dock instead of Coke.
• Spilt curry down my (white) shirt at work.

I think I'd better go back to bed.

The Little Silver Moonbaby

NEVER wear a white shirt to eat curry —

GRANNY WLW WILL NOT BE IMPRESSED

THINGS THAT HAVE SCARRED ME FOR LIFE

1. Seeing my freakboy with his new girlfriend
2. The movie Return To Paradise
3. Americans singing Happy Birthday to me when I was eight
4. Discovering B*ckch*t

Does anyone know a good therapist?

Pink Punk Princess

Greta, the Towers' goth cleaning lady,

SWEARS BY DR NICK... AND FLASH

WHAT IS GOING ON?

I was in the kitchen tonight, looking for something that I could eat, and stumbled upon something strange... peaches packed in PEAR juice.

My question is why? Isn't peach juice good enough for peaches? Is there a worldwide peach juice shortage?

Help me, WLW! It looks like a peach and tastes like a pear. I'm confused and my head is hurting.

Completely Underwhelmed

Fruit? You were thinking fruit?

NOTHING IN THE BICCIE TIN?

THE BEST SANDWICH FILLINGS EVER!

1. Peanut butter and jam
2. Turkey breast and tomato
3. Nutella
4. Philadelphia
5. Mashed banana and honey
6. Cheese and Branston pickle
7. Grated cheese and ketchup

If only it weren't for that diet... if only.

Emma-the-lil'-Angel

Diet be blowed. Put the whole lot

BETWEEN TWO SLICES OF MIGHTY WHITE

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW I'M STILL ALIVE AND BORED

I had a dream last night where Noel and Liam Gallagher were singing a Beatles song while together on a boogie board, in heavy waves and a storm, just off the coast of Brittany.

What's that all about? Obviously uni life (and no 'Zine) is getting to me.

Pablo Marmite

I dreamt I had tea with Russell Watson,

NOW WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT?

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